Caught in a web I didn't realize
In college I met this girl, she was strikingly attractive, she was studying Art History and she was from Mexico on a scholarship. We struck up a friendship and one day without any prior planning I got her in the sack. I won't say she actively participated but she definitely allowed it. After that she was easier and we had s** often enough. She acted and talked like she was my girlfriend. One day she told another girl friend of mine she was pregnant and she needed help in telling me. At that time she was 19 and I was 24 finishing my MBA.
It was clear that she had a problem, to me it wasn't. So she was pregnant? So what? But our mutual friend acted as intermediary letting me know that in Mexico for a girl like her this was a serious family and social problem and the only solution for her was to get married. I gave in when her parents were coming up at the end of the semester to take her home for summer break. She was six months pregnant at the time, and we had a quick civil ceremony to make it legal before her parents arrived.
She left it to me to tell her father she was expecting. There was a lot of angry father outbursts and I told him that she was married and as far as I was concerned I had done enough. They wanted a church wedding, being Catholics they wanted me to convert. I didn't and the baby was born without the blessings from the church, although legally married I was told that the baby was technically a b******, according to them and the church.
Once married and with a child she started the process of getting her residency. It was only five years later, by then she had another child, that I learned from one of her cousins that when girls like her came to school in the States they had a plan, find an American, usually get pregnant, get married and that way get their US Citizenship.
It took me a long time to realize that is exactly what happened. I was upper middle class, from a prominent family, with an MBA. She picked me out of the crowd. A good Mexican wife was going to be good for me. I don't think that I ever loved her, not really. I won't say it is an arranged marriage but it sure was planned by her and her family. When I confronted her about it, this is ten years after we got married, her answer was simple. I insisted on having s** with her, so I was to blame and now she was stuck in Massachusetts far away from her family. I was denying her children the chance for them to grow up close to their grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles.