Get a room.
My mom was in town for the weekend so her and I were out for drinks last night, I was having fun and we were getting pretty tipsy, It was close to midnight and we walked home from the neighbourhood pub, Talking and laughing for the two blocks. We walked in through the back gate and as we approached the house the light was on downstairs and we could see right into the family room.
My mom stopped and got wide eyed and I froze, I was like "**, **, **...No, No, No". My mom was ready to boot the door down and kill a MF'r but...I grabbed her hand and stopped her, I said "Mom, Wait...Come here", She was like "No, Come on, I'm gonna kill...Blah, Blah, Blah". I said "Mom...Look at me" and she was like "Kelsey, WTF, Why are you so calm, What is going on".
Explaining to your mom that it is fine that she just seen your best friend laying on the couch downstairs buck naked with your husband shoving his ** in her mouth. I said "Mom, that's Carrie", She said "I am well aware of who it is", I said "She got divorced a year ao and we have been...uh...Well" and motioned toward the window. So fricking weird standing there with my mom basically watching my husband face ** my best friend on the couch and telling her it is ok. My mom looked at me and then closed her eyes, opened them and looked at the window, I stared at her for like 5 seconds and said "Mom", She shook her head and looked at me then said "Ok...What you do behind closed doors is up to you".
We went in the house and made lots of noise, My husband came upstairs first with his hair all messed up and his shirt half tucked in and looked at me then at my mom and said "Oh hi, You're back already?", I nodded and he said "Carrie stopped by, I think she is...In the bathroom", Carrie appeared from around the corner and seen my mom and said "Hey, I stopped by to see you". My mom pleasantly said "Hi Carrie, well Kelsey...I'm exhaused, This old girl (49) is off to bed, Good night all". I waited until I heard her door click and said "Garage...now".
We went to the garage and I told them the whole story about mom seeing them and...Watching basically, I said "WTF you guys...Get a room...Or close the blinds...Or something", My husband was just quiet and Carrie sat staring at the floor and then looked at me and said "Wait...What do you mean watched us?", I explained and she said "Good lord, Your mom just watched him gagging me with his ** on the couch?", I nodded and she she chuckled, Sighed and said "**...Me...". So we did...On the hood of my car.
Anyway, So now my mom knows we swing with my best friend, Next morning coffee was awkward.
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