My aunt was my role model and ardent supporter of my preference
I was charged with helping sort out the things of my elderly aunt that passed away. She was spinster, never married. She had a government job during her working life and her retirement benefits provided for a comfortable life. Her house, which we were cleaning up for sale, was a modest in every sense. Small, with two bedrooms and a small den and kitchen and dining area, and a basement which was used in her better days for parties. My aunt was a lifelong closeted lesbian. Her friend, who passed away a couple of years earlier, was Mabel. Two ladies of those times who were dear friends.
Not many of us knew about that part of her life. She noticed in me that I preferred the ladies when I was still a young woman in high school and she walked me through that dark passage until I was able to fend for myself and accept my proclivity. Unlike her I married as a Junior in college and bore four boys for my husband. The two people who knew absolutely about my proclivity were my husband and my aunt. My aunt convinced my husband to accept me that way, I wasn't going to change.
My husband gives me permission to associate with Lauren, and gives us space when Lauren spends the night. Had he pushed it Lauren would have given herself to him, but he kept just shy of that line. Lauren is my Mabel. She is here helping me with my aunt's things. We found some old letters, hand written as was the custom when my aunt was a young woman. Love letters, in code of course, from Mabel when Mabel was away to college. Lot's of Buttercup and longing eyes, and things like that.
Even as they grew old they kept up appearances. I suppose that many others suspected a thing or two. We have found very little that can definitely tie them together, that's how meticulously careful they were. I think of Lauren's nighty in my closet, the texts messages, the phone messages, the long kisses I'm sure have been witnessed. In our little cubby world we are expressive and affectionate and more. My husband runs the interference, he tries to give us as much time together. As long as I love her and she loves me. That's what he says.
So I have my aunt to thank for helping me through the dark days of confusion, for explaining to my husband that there is nothing he could do, except forgive us, defend us, keep us, support us, facilitate us, and overall be our biggest cheer leader. Behind his shield we have been able to be who we are. Two women who much like my aunt and Mabel, were wired from birth for each other.