Willingly had an abortion, now I hate my boyfriend

Earlier this year, I found out that I was pregnant. I had just turned 18, and I had been accepted to my 1st choice college only weeks before the blue lines showed up.
My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over a year when this happened, and he cried when I told him I was pregnant. He also said that he would be with me no matter what I chose, and he would financially and emotionally support any choice I made.
I didnt let him go to the clinic with me; I didnt want him to have those memories too. I went alone.
Before this happened, we had an incredible relationship. We rarely argued about anything, and never attacked each other personally. Since then, however, I find it really difficult to have s** with him. I get angry with him easily, and I have no patience with him whatsoever. I'm terrified of failing at anything in front of him, I worry about him cheating on me, and I've let myself become convinced that he would be better off with anyone but me. He has broke down in tears trying to convince me that he loves me more than anything, and that he doesnt want anyone but me. I can't believe him anymore.
I told him this morning that I hated him, and I know I resent him for what happened even though I chose to have the procedure done.
I can't get over it, and I don't think I can get past it and continue to have a meaningful relationship with him.

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  • You are truly disgusting.

  • To the person posting about a magical priest, you are gross

  • Thank God for abortion.

  • Im 19 and found out i was pregnant one day after my birthday. I Had been with my boyfriend for a year and half but split up 2 weeks before i found out we was expecting. I told himand he said get rid and we can work on our relationship and get us back on track, he made so many promises and made more of an effort than he had ever ever made, however on the day of the termination we got rid and found out it was twins, i was absolutely devestated but thought i made the right descision as it wouldnt be fair on the child being brought up into an unstable relationship. We got home from the termination and he never spoke to me again. Said he didnt love me and thats it my heart was shattered into pieces not only had i lost my babies but had also lost my boyfriend, i am definately finding it exceptionally hard to cope especially on my own! but what can you do! hope you sort it out

  • What are you talking about? Be glad! You wish you rather you got stuck with two kids from an a****** who would of left straight after and then your life would pretty much be over and you would never go out and do anything? Be f****** thankful you had access to abortion.

  • I am currently go through the exact same thing, were you able to get over your feelings? Are you and your boyfriend still together? I got an abortion 3weeks ago because it was the only way to keep my boyfriend who i love truly with all my heart but since then we are always fighting he hasn't kept any of his promises and i resent him for talking me into doing it when i didnt want to :( But I am praying we will get through this that I am just depressed from the pregnancy and it will soon fade. Because I don't want to loose him cuz then I would of gotten an abortion for nothing :(

  • i think relationships often suffer after big turning points or big decisions. abortion is one of them and it may put strain on your relationship - perhaps not as much strain as having a baby at 18 when you're in the middle of a crucial stage in your career development and education. don't be h****** yourself. men can never understand what women must go through to have an abortion. if I were you I'd put yourself first, go and see a consellor or psychologist who can listen and support you more than a forum can. but I'm with you. I had a termination only a few days ago, my boyfriend came with me, was the main thrust (pardon the pun) behind my having the abortion and now he's gone into a mancave of depression about it and I can't even talk to him and am starting to resent him. it's complicated when two people who love each other inadvertently biologically compromise their other half. all I know is you're not alone. work at making yourself happy, see a qualified listener and talk it out rather than letting unspoken resentment break you apart from someone you love... I'm going to give it a go. good luck.

  • I'm sorry-but it was your actions that killed your baby,not your boyfriends. You can try to blame him all you want but are feeling guilt becuse you know that it was ultimately your decision, and you chose to kill your baby instead of being a mother and giving him/her a chance at life.

  • You're an idiot

  • Stop saying "kill" no one is murdering anyone. You're ridiculous and ignorant.

  • ^Props to you. And to the f****** with the original post, shut you pathetic c***. Find a way to actually be in possession of a brain, or kill yourself.

  • I had an abortion 1 month ago.my boyfriend and i were having problems and so i decided to have the abortion bc i wasnt able to support myself, the baby, and my 9yr.old frm a previous marriage.im very angry at myself and at my boyfriend bc at the time he said he wanted me to get the abortion and nw he says he didnt and only said it bc he was mad at me.i dnt undrstnd how he says he loves me but let me do that. i cry a lot nw everytime i thnk of my baby and although me and my bf are tryng to work on our relationshp of 6yrs., im not sure if im still in love w him anymore.but i do love hm.i just dnt knw if ican get over the pain and guilt of the abortion.what am i to do.

  • ^I have known women who freely made the choice, without their boyfriends or husbands ever knowing.
    It is not the cruelest thing a man can do to a woman, why you're just blaming men is beyond me. The same women even said it was 50/50.
    Feeling guilty? Thats fine, but whatever situation you had is not every situation.
    Its very easy for any one of us to say "Don't do it", or "Do it", its another to be the person in whatever situation and live through it, you should know.

  • Prolife or prochoice, in the end abortion is the cruelest thing a man can do to a woman. Guys don't have to live with the pain. We can just move on. How do I know? I moved on. It was 26 years ago. I now have two boys. I've had time to think about it, I feel guilt, pain and I tell my sons daily how much they are wanted. I wish I could find her and tell her how deeply sorry I am.

  • Oh really? Do you feel guilty about every egg that gets discarded during your periods? Thats unique genetic coding that will never exist again. By your logic you're a f****** mass murderer. How dare you kill all those innocents, f****** w****.

  • You should see about getting some counseling for yourself. You've obviously not come to terms with having had the abortion, and these feelings aren't just magically going to go away one day. You can either do something about it, or let some thing that happened that you can't change dictate the way your life turns out.

  • He should have come to the clinic with you. Why are you protecting him? This is not all your fault its partially his too. Relationships dont always survive after an abortion. I think you should move on. Best of luck to you. :)

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