Willingly had an abortion, now I hate my boyfriend
Earlier this year, I found out that I was pregnant. I had just turned 18, and I had been accepted to my 1st choice college only weeks before the blue lines showed up.
My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over a year when this happened, and he cried when I told him I was pregnant. He also said that he would be with me no matter what I chose, and he would financially and emotionally support any choice I made.
I didnt let him go to the clinic with me; I didnt want him to have those memories too. I went alone.
Before this happened, we had an incredible relationship. We rarely argued about anything, and never attacked each other personally. Since then, however, I find it really difficult to have s** with him. I get angry with him easily, and I have no patience with him whatsoever. I'm terrified of failing at anything in front of him, I worry about him cheating on me, and I've let myself become convinced that he would be better off with anyone but me. He has broke down in tears trying to convince me that he loves me more than anything, and that he doesnt want anyone but me. I can't believe him anymore.
I told him this morning that I hated him, and I know I resent him for what happened even though I chose to have the procedure done.
I can't get over it, and I don't think I can get past it and continue to have a meaningful relationship with him.