Daughter Mary and Disabled Jesus

…to a clickbait title that never gets explained in the text. With every year that passes, my ability to express myself coherently gets a little… less. "It made sense in my head."

We begin with birth in near-isolation, and continue onto the internet— from a homeschool girl with a public middleschool finish, to a high school dropout, living the NEET life.

Ah, the NEET life. Finding love among your fellow degenerates, thinking that you can at least save someone else, if not yourself.

(Because that went so well the last time.)

Marry (except not legally, because Uncle Sam is gonna getcha!) the first person to talk to you (first after the others ran away, mind you), become extremely codependent on them and assume that… that…

(It's you and me against the world.)

(And we're gonna ** die! Throwback to the suicide pact with the previous online "partner".)

…assume what again?

Why am I here again? Why is he here?

(Because I wanted to be the mother I should have had, because I wanted to save someone, because I thought I could "help" him.)

You can't save anyone.

Why am I still alive?

(Because I haven't died yet.)

Years and years and hundreds of dollars down the drain and we have nothing to show for it. Nothing at all. No talents, no skills, no lessons learned. No bravery gained. Nothing to be proud of. Every day is torture and I consent to it by getting up in the morning.

All because I don't have the stomach to tell him he's on his own. Because how do you tell a potentially mentally-disabled person with diabetes that they're on their own?

You don't. You're supposed to go to family, friends, neighbors, church, or Uncle Sam. But neither of us have family or friends and our neighbors would politely tell us to ** off. Churches are infested with vipers and Uncle Sam… "I want YOU!" And I won't tell you what for.

(Converted into a value on a computer, crunched like any other number, sorry but your data doesn't fit neatly into the allotted section, so we had to erase it. You don't exist and we won't help you. Have a nice day.)

Two lost orphans with nowhere to go but into the ground. Thanks for having me, "ConfessionPost". Goodnight, see you on the silver screen.