I honestly have the worst mom ever.

Okay, so it all started when i began 8th grade. I've always known about **. I always was yk ** and was always wet. So obviously i masturbated and stuff yk i felt like for me it was good for me it was good for me to express but my mother obviously she found out but im going to tell you the whole story first and how she found out etc the literal story gets insane. So, i never really cared about having ** right i saved my first kiss til i was in 8th grade summer of 7th grade it was june of 2021 and i had my first kiss with my step brother. we definitely had something we had this chemistry that no one could ever explain. We both fell in love with eachother but i fell more in love with him than he did with me at the time. and we came from 2 different whole worlds.2 completely different worlds. we ended up taking eachothers virginitys on september 4th of 2021. than we ended up taking a break from things because our other cousins kind of started figuring things out and i had just found out my bestfriend of 4 years endedup back stabbing me and getting with my ex bf of 8 months (before my step brother) and he was cheating on me with her for 3 months of our relationship and he had randomly broke up with me in early june which hurt btw (hense the fact i ended up having my first kiss in LATE june with my step cousin) And i was crying to my bsf and stuff you know and the thing is me and this boy never really met like that but we ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS facetimed i told him all my secrets my life stories every single thing about me. but i never showed him my body. he never asked to show him anything. wheras the thing is i was kind of falling out of love with him because i knew something was going on but the fact my ex bsf of 4 YEARS did that to me and lied to my face about it hurt. ALOT. anyway we took a break because i began to go through deppresion and i didn't want to involve him into my mental state or my problems. Than we just decided to keep things neutral if we see eachother at family occastions (my mom never ever ever found out about me and my step brother btw) buttt i ended up having a rebound guy (it gets crazy from here) so around mid october i was obvi talking to this kid i knew him since 6th grade and he ended up msging me years later blah blah blah and we'd ** to eachother on facetime til one day my mom had moved back to my aunts house (i live at my aunts house) and i was already getting dressed from yk finishing w him otp and btw i didn't have my phone at the time so we were calling from my laptop and my door was locked and my mom came in asking me why am i naked and im like oh i was changing and shes like "than why is your laptop open?' and i said "cus im watching sponge bob" and she grabbed my laptop and she ended up finding my instagram account whereas she found me and this kids texts (they were very very very very spicy btw) and she honestly kicked my **. she came out of the room and grabbed me by my hair and dragged me and kicked my **. and she literally told everyone. i got smacked in the face my eye was kind of pinkish purple and i wanted to defend myself but i couldn't because i didn't want to hurt her cause i always knew how strong i am so i just told myself its going to be oversoon right. WRONG. ** got worse from there . i got tired of being ** shamed. called a **. making me feel like a person whos not worth **. i ended up telling myself that its time for me to be selfish and i ran away and snuck into my old school and staying there i did end up getting caught like a dumbass. but anyway my mom PUT ME IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. i was diagnosed with deppresion and anxiety. my mom never ever cared about the fact i had depression. I do know me running away was ** stupid without having anywhere to go no plans and leaving like that was extremly irresponsible. anyway, lets fast worward to march 4th. I had a plug right and he was fine asfffff! and i hadn't had ** since my step brother so im like ykw ** it. Best. **. ever. literally. i couldn't walk for like an hour and i had like 5 ** and squirted 3 times!!!!!! anyway i fell into a deep love with him and so did he with me. that night was the first time i ever fell in love with someone in first sight literally. that night was the best night of my life. we cuddled for a little and he even took my makeup off for me and told me that i dont need makeup and that im gorgeous without it and he even took me fake lashes off for me and put them away for me so i wont lose them after that i jumped right back to the front seat and we went for a late night drive and he bought me a hashbrown from mcdonalds (at this point it was already 4-5am so there were no fries.) he didn't let me feed myself the freaking hashbrown cus he wanted to feed it to me than we had ** AGAIN and i ended up getting back home around 7:30am and i left my house at 12:45am. days later i snuck out at 12pm ona school day i say ima leave for 5 mins and than i get home 3 hours later my aunt saw him drop me off and guess what!! my mom found out AGAIINNNNN than guess what! she comes to the house belt in hand ready to BEATT MYYY ASSSSSS. my dog ended up biting the ** outta her leg when she was dragging me by hair than my uncle comes into the house she tells him what was going on and he said "why dont you just cut her hair" than my moms like "you know what thats a good idea" she drags me to the kitchen my uncle held me down and honestly i stayed calm and she cut my waist length hair and cut it all off. my hair ended up being shorter than my chin. thats where honestly i quit trying to makeup excuses for her. she didn't have to do that she had NOO REASON to do that she could've asked me about the kid she could've asked ** questions. but she instead wanted to take ** to the next level. (luckily right now in november my hair is already up to my shoulders so yayy) anyway i didn't want to see my plug until my hair was grown out and i ended up seeing him like 4 weeks after she chopped it he came in me yes i allowed him too and than i never saw him again until early september 2022 the amount of tears i wanted to shed. but i didn't. me and him went through alot between those months of not seeing eachother like alot. i got alot more prettier cus i started focusing on myself i got hot asf and so did my body (hour glass witha fat **!) and i was just scared to be honest only bc of the fact that the ** we went through kind of affected our relationship but we fixed it up yk anyway i worse this bodycon tight ** tube black dress. we talked than we had ** than he dropped me off him and it was every wensday for 3 weeks that we met up. til i moved back with my mom i havent seen him since we still are talking pero yeah. anyway continuing with my evil mother. I vape right and when i was in middle school especially 8th grade i had straight f's horrible grades yk til now im in 9th grade i have perfect grades and i've never in my whole life had good grades. and she honestly never ever gives a flying ** about anything i do its always about my little ** brother. she never wants to listen to me at all. i bought a ** and she called me a ** about it. she saw discharge on my ** and told me to throw away my **. she makes me feel like every little thing i do is something bad. now i think having ** discharge is a bad ** thing and that its nasty and that no boys going to like me at all cus ** bro you critisice me over every little thing about me. she honestly thinks im going to ** up my life and get pregnant at 18 and have a kid instead of going to ** college. thats the last thing im going to ** do. im not ruining my ** life and she has no right to get rid of her ** anger on me because im not like her im never going to be as perfect as her. i like the way i ** am and im able to love my own body and give my body what it ** desieres. its ** up how you can tell people all about my ** life and lie to them and say that im a ** ** that im for the streets and that im never going to be ** happy and have a stable ** relationship and it ** bro it ** hurts how my own ** mother instead of helping me and talking to me and give me advice you know but no. calling your own ** kid a ** and that im a ** and that all i do is give myself out? Maybe dont abandon your ** daughter for her brother whilst she doesn't even have a dad at all in her life! My grandma and grandpa ** raised me more than you ** did. so if you wanna call me a ** go for it but just make sure that you ** have a reason to. because im not a **. im a almost 15 year old girl im not a ** kid anymore and you out of all people shouldn't judge me or say ** thats gon ** me up bc im the only one who trys for you. who helps you out at the house who trys to make you happy when you get home from work having your bed made food cooked house cleaned smelling good. how ** ungreatful of you to even say that "how can you do this to our family" thats the most selfish ** i've ever heard in my whole life.What the living ** l have I done to you for you to tell me that ** bro? pleassseee explainnnn! Honestly its funny how you’d have the ** to even say ** . I’ve stolen one of her things and she tells me she HATES when people take her ** she don’t like when people take her ** w out asking or js take her ** in general. You know what she doess! she goes ahead and goes through MY ENTIRE ROOM I was at church on Wednesday and I get home to her asking me a bunch of questions and I find my stuffed animals cut open all my stuff misplaced my drawers open and I had a weed pen inside my drawer and she obviously comes to me and she shows me my **, the weed pen, and something I had taken from her. Shes like this the ** u do? 1) the weed is for I can forget about the ** you tell me. part 2 is next