I didn't cry when my mother died
I loved her dearly and I think of her every day but she was 97 and had severe brain damage after a stroke. She was clinically insane. She lived for two yers after the stroke and died in a hospital far away from where I live. Thats what hurts. I feel I should have been with her.
I never cried after her death. It was her time to go and go she did.
I love you Momma.
The only funeral I ever cried at was at my Uncle Bob's. Other family members who have died over the years I never shed a tear.
Something similar happened to me 3 months ago it was my grandpa he had a massive brain hemorrhage I'm so sorry for your loss