It's going to hurt you forever and ever until you die

This isn't a confession rather, it's more of a "if this happens". Well in high school, I hadn't had enough relationships. I've only been in 1 physical relationship since freshmen year; the rest were online. A lot of my Online Relationships have ruined me to the point to where I'm very insecure and scared to throw myself out there or approach a female. I've been cheated on once 1 one of my online relationships and so now I feel like I am ruined about it. It's not something I want to go through again. It was a nice relationship between me and Jamy (online ex). It wasn't just her in the relationship. We were both toxic, but I loved her very much. She cheated. Anyway, I haven't experienced a real relationship and I haven't thrown myself out there enough to know what real love feels like. I don't know if I will ever, honestly. I am scared that I'll be cheated on again. One day, if I am ever cheated on again.

When she feels guilty and wants to come back to me and doesn't want me to end things, I am willing to take her back on the one condition. That is that she gets an IUD in her arm. And then I'll turn her into a prostitute/** who will hang out every night and get railed by random guys. This is so she can catch HIV/AIDs and feel the pain that comes with having AID/HIVs. Because it's lifelong and there's no cure for it. HIV slowly becomes AIDS with them 2 it has multiple stages. The virus to my knowledge breaks down your immune system, destroys white blood cells and renders your body weak to mild infections that wouldn't bother a healthy person. At the last stage, you are an unguarded Ouija board, an unlocked front door. Any known mild pathogen or Extremely Chronic Pathogen may enter your body. It's life-threatening because without a fully functional strong immune system you're as good as dead. Viruses and diseases that wouldn't affect a healthy person would affect you. When the affected individual has the said virus, she won't be sleeping in my bed at all, because I'm not catching what she has. I am going to be an entrepreneur in a few years, so I am planning to have more than one house or property. During that whole process I will mentally ruin her. She will be thinking about ** and having endless symptoms and pain from AIDS. You can call me crazy or a psychopath. However, I don't like being cheated on. I don't care how many have to die for me to be happy with someone. You wanted me to take you back, didn't you? Well, that comes with a price: Your life. Again, call me crazy or a psychopath for doing this. I am giving her a place to live, food, water, and unmedicated in the end, causing her to kill herself for my revenge/retribution. I have accepted my fate in **, I'll sacrifice everything just for me to be happy in my final hours. I don't care anymore, I'll die happy.

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