I still miss my best friend

I wrote a post here six months ago about my best friend ghosting me after my mom died.
I remember thinking back then, in a few months, you won't care about this. Just get over it.
I'm still not over it. Sometimes I feel OK for a few days, but when I run into him, he still pretends he doesn't know me. Won't look at me, turns his back to me. I go out of my way to avoid the places we used to hang out, just because it messes me up so much.
I texted him happy birthday. Asked him if he wanted to talk. He didn't answer.
I had known him for years. He was my best friend.
I've spent every night for the past many, many months, alternating between crying over my dead f****** mom, and crying over him being a **.
Why is he like this? What did I do??? Sorry I'm not fun anymore because my mom literally just died, so I can't drop everything for you like I used to??? Was the whole friendship fake, for years, and I never knew? Was it never real???
It doesn't get better, it gets worse and worse and worse and worse

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