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I wish life had a reset button.
My entire life has been and still is complete misery. My parents would beat me when I was a child, my mom worse then my dad but my dad had a temper that was more then enough to make any child afraid of him. When I was at school, from first grade to graduation. I was relentlessly bullied. I would try to tell my dad but, he wouldn't listen to me until I stopped crying first. By the time I was in third grade, however, I stopped telling my dad about the things that happened at school because it was quite obvious he was doing nothing about it because the bullying continued. Even the teachers who witnessed me being bullied did nothing about it except to tell the students to stop. They never did. The list of torment is endless. I was always forced to do things I didn’t want to do. Nothing sexual. I was constantly blamed for things I never said or did and no matter how many times I told the truth, nobody believed me. They would always assume I was lying. My life now is no better. I’m in my mid 40’s, no wife, no kids, still a virgin and still live with my parents. I’m stuck in a dead-end job that I have no chance of ever escaping from. If life did have a reset button, I would press it so it could send me back to the first grade. Here’s why. Several times in the first grade, I would be sent to the principal’s office and she would hit my knuckles with a wooden paddle board and then tell me to go back to the classroom. The truth is, I visualize the scenario like this. I press the reset button, go back to first grade and then repeatedly call the principal a wicked witch. If the shoe fits, right? This eventually causes me to get permanently expelled not just from school but, unable to attend any school anywhere in the state I live in. And, because I get expelled from school, I don’t go to other schools where other students bully me and because I get kicked out of school in the first grade, I can’t get a job any place where I have to deal with rude and obnoxious customers or employees who assume I’m not doing my job or think they’re above when they’re not. The way I see it, if this happened to me, I’d be very happy because the years of abuse wouldn’t keep happenning.
You're in your 40s man! You have to move on. First thing you do is just move out of your parents house. Living on your own even in poor conditions will do wonders for your self esteem.