Good Bye To You And Your Addiction
I wrote a song yesterday.
It was ment to take away the pain.
The pain of being your husband.
And watching you walk away after you kissed and hugged me with a smile saying, "I wont be long."
The pain from not knowing you still had more to say, but some how you must have been to afraid.
I couldn't read between the lines.
I never even saw it in your eyes.
I did not know that smile could hold such lies.
But that's ok, I'll be fine, cause that song is mine.
I sing it at night when I can't sleep and I'm wishing you where here with me counting sheep.
So I can I have just a little peace.
I know you think I didn't care.
You just couldn't see past what you thought was my blank stair.
Like all the times I use to give you a wink.
Some times you just missed it when you blinked.
But that's ok, I was there.
I remember the good times we shared.
Did you ever really cared?
My love for you went right on by.
Now there's nothing left but for me to cry.
Wont you come back and wipe my eyes?
I think its about time you realized.
I'm not the one who left you all alone and paralyzed.
There's something else behind your own eyes, something else locked away deep in side.
But I swear the things I hear and the things you do, I just can't believe that they are true.
I would never have expected those things from you.
No telling what it might take, for you to re-pay for your mistakes.
Some one may drag you around by the hair!
Or even throw you down a flight of stairs!
Perhaps give a near death scare!
Do you know what it's like to be ill prepared?
It does not matter now today, cause there's nothing left I can say.
You wouldn't listen anyway.
You want to do it your own way!
You keep telling me that your grown, so from this point on I will leave you alone.
You went ahead and turn your back and run off with a bunch of those Blacks.
You know, the one's who don't mind selling or smoking some crack.
I know you'll soon be back, looking for what those Blacks lack.
But not till you run out of money for crack.
We both know you wont stay long, your will and heart just aren't that strong.
I'm always left wondering how long will you'll be gone.
It's a losing battle I just can't win.
So for that reason I'm not going through it again
Just because it's the way that you've always been.
You choose them over me.
I wish I could open your eyes and make you see.
Your slowly but surely loosing me and and what's left of my sympathy.
We both know you'll go running back.
Back to those Blacks that don't mind selling or smoking some crack.
You think they are all your friends.
But where will they be in the end, if you wind up dead or for some reason thrown in the Penn?
That's where you might just be, if you don't start listening and bend one knee.
With hands held high and a voice crying . "Please listen to me Lord, I think I dying."
But why wait till then?
Why not start now to make amends?
Cause you know in your heart their not true friends.
Don't walk through those unholy gates.
Do you want that life to be your fate?
A life alone with out a mate?
Come on baby it's still not to late!
So go ahead and fill your plate.
Saver the goodness you just ate.
Then vomit up all your hate.
And learn to reach for those pearly gates.
Just turn around and don't look back.
Cause you never now when the devil will attack.
Just let God be your stalker.
You don't need to be a big talker.
Stop running and learn to be a walker.
Enjoy life one step at a time.
Put away all your past, present and future crimes.
It wont cost you one thin dime.
It's better then doing time, or having people think you're slim.
Take a sip of the wine that is Jesus.
That's the only drug that truly pleases.
He's the one that always sees us.
He watches over us and he feeds us.
He's the one that frees us.
So go ahead and drink the blood of Jesus.
Not man kind with all his hate, the kind of creature that lays in wait.
Lurking around when your not awake.
Always looking for what he can take.
Don't fall in to that trap that seals your fate.
Just leave them all behind.
Let them know you have a brand new mind.
Show them you come from a different bread.
Show them you're ready to lead.
So when they cut you, you wont bleed.
Isn't that the way you want to be?
Don't you want your life and spirit set free?
That's what your always telling me!
If this is true, then let everyone see.
What a better person you can be.
You don't have to walk in sin.
That kind of life never wins.
Put the past behind you.
Don't keep letting it rewind you or remind you, cause sometimes it can even blind you.
It's time to heal and make amends.
You can learn to make all new friends.
Now ask yourself, "how will my life end?"
The choice is yours so make it.
You no longer have to sit there and just take it.
But it will not work if you fake it.
Remember, life is what you make it.
Just believe that it's true and the good things above can work for you.
I love you, take care of yourself.
You know, the guy left looking for the woman he married!
The man you left with this load to carry. The one you left with no car, no cash and even got fired over you in the past. The one who never got tired of you even though some times you made me want to set fire to you.
I stuck with you through and through, even you become unglued.
Yeah that's me the one who stayed with you and supported you through rehab and still missed you.
All because you said you where through and ready to go, but man oh man little did I know,
about all the things that you would not let show.
Make sure you don't forget me, because you've made such a lasting impression my mind wont let me.
I will never forget. I gave all my love, blood, sweat and tears.
I am to the point where I have nothing left to fear.
When we met I had it all.
Now I have nothing left after your fall.
But I can say I gave it my all as I pick my self up and start to crawl.
The good news is that I can forgive and move on.
And one day I will be back twist as strong.
But that's just another part of my personal song.
With all that said my mind is set.
Now I can live with out regret.
I will miss you and I hope one day you will see, just how much your life ment to me.