Plotting a pregnancy
I desparately wanted to marry my boyfriend and start a family, but we were stuck in a rut, the relationship wasn't moving forward, so I broke up with him.
He moved to another city but we stayed friends and we still had s** whenever we saw each other. I was still in love with him and still desparately wanted to have his baby. I think women who fall pregnant on purpose and force a man to become a father with no thought or consideration as to his feelings and rights are disgusting, selfish b******. But I was desparate, I was crazy, I started planning to 'accidentally' get pregnant.
I knew he would be in my city for work in a few months so I knew when I needed to be ovulating. First I used the pill to change the time of month my period came, and then I stopped taking it. Instead I started taking folate and vitamins. A week before he came I slipped comment about being on the pill into conversation. Once he was here I made sure the pill packet was left in the bathroom where he would see it and would think I was taking it. It was perfect, I was about to ovulate, he was here for a week and there was no chance he'd suggest a condom.
But then I couldn't. I was so disgusted with myself for planning such a horrible thing. I told him I needed to move on from our relationship and I couldn't sleep with him anymore. Its one of the things I've never told anyone, I couldn't stand my family and friends knowing I'm capable of such evil scheming, and I'm still riddled with guilt that I could even think of such a thing, let alone spend months planning to do this to someone I loved.