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I am drowning
My best friend (and really only true friend) and I would talk every day for hours. In the few years we've been friends I could count the amount of days we haven't talked on one hand. Last month she stopped talking to me completely. I honestly thought she had died, but I can see her liking things on Facebook. I've tried to reach out in any way I can, but she seems to suddenly not see me as a friend and I truly have no idea why. I don't know what I did wrong.
I've written two separate suicide notes, stopping myself from sending them to her and keeping them in drafts instead. I live every day in pain because the person who cared about me the most in life now no longer cares. I have nobody and I have nothing. The only thing that has stopped me from killing myself is that I don't know how to do it and I'm scared of ** up and potentially doing something even worse to myself.
Even if she comes back I don't think I can forgive her for what she did. I don't think I can live with the fact that the person who said she'd always be there for me chooses not to be there. It's a different kind of grief.
I feel you. stay strong independent. no one deserve this love. maybe in family, or rarely friends .