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I got spoiled when young
I got spoiled when young and now have problems in my love life.
I was underage when I met that guy who seduced me. He did things to me and back then I thought it was cool. So he had me perform all kind of things and he used me in all possible ways. I never understood most of those things were just done by adult performers as a part of their acting. Like an industry, you know. But not in real life, but normal people. Then that guy went away I never saw him again. I imagine he found himself another prey.
But now that I meet someone I am not happy with plain love making. So I made some very dirty things with some of them and it was not good either. I simply do not feel anything. It is all like performing. There is no emotion, no tenderness and no attachment. They like that those guys, but I get nothing in return. I like them but I do not feel attracted to them in the sensual way. OK to pass time and fool but empty inside when we go to bed.
So I know I got broken by that guy. Ruined. He used me like a toy and he broke me. Now I do not have the love life my peers have. Romantic things and hopes and dreams.
Can't see no way out. Seems like there is nothing I can do about.
I was the same way. What helped me was giving myself self-dares. I'm nowhere as daring as my ex's but it helped me get past my disappointment in my marital ** life
You know you like ** a little different than most people, there is nothing wrong with that. Men desire you for your sexual abilities and talents. You should be proud of yourself for that, many women would feel jealous of you for that. You are correct in wanting one special person to be your anchor, to share intimacies and love with, a person to share adventures together with.
The person in an earlier message to you suggesting to simply step back for a while may be correct. But do not give up on yourself.
I was used and abused starting when i was 14! I was never baptized as a baby for various reasons,so when i was 14 my parents had me baptized as a baby during sunday mass!The day before on saturday,i was taken to the parish nursery in the morning and was put into a thick cloth diaper with babyprint,adult size plastic pants over it,then a white tee shirt with 'BABY' printed across the front,then the bonnet and a pair of white booties.A pacifier on a ribbon was hung around my neck that i had to ** on and then i was given a baby bottle to drink from with milk in it.I had to play with baby toys on the floor and become a 'baby'.this lasted untill 6pm on saturday night.On sunday morning,i was taken back to the nursery,the diaper and plastic pants and tee shirt were put back on me,then my babyish baptism gown and bonnet,then lace socks and the botties.The pacifier was attached to the front of my gown.I was baptized as a baby during mass and it was very embarrassing! After my party,a 15 year old boy whom i liked,got me alone and felt my ** then ran his hands over my diaper and plastic pants.He got me to my knees and convinced me to ** his ** and he came in my mouth.
Beat him up very badly , and if you can't , ask someone to do it for you , there are girls who rigthly do that already for react against the same kind of abuses , and in case you run in to some ignorant inferior person , you know , a wannabe-a-pacifis that may tell you to not do it , well , make sure to get it beat up severely right after the guy who abused you , see those two kind of people work together in order to make our life terrible , one group abuse us , the other group try to make us docile , so the first group know it can continue with the abuses forever knowing that none will react in the only way possible to make them stop , that way is brute force of course
Well. You can simply step back. Stop having bed relations untill you feel like it. ** life is not like breathing. It is OK to stop for a time and wait for either the right person or else the right time. Or both. Just take a break and do not feeel obligated to do it beacause other do.
Flush yourself down the toilet, your life is ** !
I find it hard to believe you cannot find someone that will use you the way you need. Just realize you need to be used in a hard-core way. There are plenty of men and women that would love to have you involved in their lives.