wish I felt bad

Ive been sleeping with this guy for 3 years now, we briefly dated, didnt really work as a relationship. Now hes been dating this girl for a year
I really really like her, think shes super cool and would love to be better friends with her
but I still f*** her boyfriend every now and then
I get jealous when they sleep together not because I like him anymore, we just have amazing s** (he agrees)
I wish I felt bad but I dont
I want my friend and her boyfriend too

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