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The Panty Raid Gone Wrong
Ethan, all of eighteen years and brimming with a potent mix of teenage bravado and insecurity, found himself staring at the imposing wrought-iron fence of St. Agnes Academy, the all-girls school down the road. It was late, the moon a sliver in the inky sky, and the air hummed with the chirps of crickets.
'Come on, Ethan, don't chicken out!' boomed Liam, Ethan's closest, and often most troublesome, friend. 'We all dared you. A panty raid. Easy peasy.'
Ethan swallowed hard. He'd agreed to the dare, mostly to impress Sarah, who was currently filming the whole thing on her phone, giggling nervously. But now, standing here, the reality of creeping into a girls' school felt… different.
'Alright, alright,' Ethan mumbled, trying to project confidence he didn't feel.
'Hold on!' Liam shouted, a mischievous glint in his eyes. 'I got a better idea! Makes the dare more epic. Shirtless! And belt off!'
Ethan's jaw dropped. 'Shirtless? Belt off? Are you insane?'
Liam just grinned, the others egging him on. Peer pressure, that age-old tormentor, won. Ethan ripped off his t-shirt, tossing it to Liam. He fumbled with his belt buckle, dropping the leather ** the ground. With a deep breath, he grabbed the fence, the cold metal biting into his skin. Muscles straining, he began to climb.
As he neared the top, disaster struck. His jeans, now lacking the support of his belt, began to sag precariously. He hitched them up with one hand, but it was too late. Reaching the top, he prepared to jump down into the school grounds. As he swung his leg over, the unexpected happened. The elastic of his boxer briefs, a pair plastered with cartoon dinosaurs his mom still bought him, snagged on a particularly sharp point of the fence.
He felt a moment of excruciating pause, a sickening ripping sensation, and then… he was hanging. Suspended in mid-air, the fence digging into his backside, his jeans pooling around his ankles.
'Guys… a little help?' Ethan squeaked, the blood rushing to his head.
He looked back to see Liam and Sarah frozen, their faces contorted between laughter and panic. Then, with a mumbled, 'Sorry, Ethan! We gotta go!' they turned and bolted, disappearing into the night.
Betrayed and defeated, Ethan was left dangling, a prisoner of his own ill-conceived dare and embarrassing underwear.
Time stretched on. The crickets seemed to mock him with their chirping. Just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he heard voices. Giggles. Light footsteps approaching.
A group of girls, maybe five or six, rounded the corner. They stopped dead, staring at the ridiculous spectacle before them: Ethan, suspended in the air, his bare torso exposed, his dignity shredded, and his dinosaur-themed boxer briefs clinging for dear life.
Silence hung in the air for a beat, then erupted into a chorus of laughter. Tears streamed down their faces.
'Oh my god,' one girl managed to choke out. 'Is that… is that Ethan from the public school?'
'What an idiot!' another shrieked, clutching her stomach.
After the initial shock wore off, a new emotion seemed to dawn on them: mischief.
'Wait,' said a girl with bright pink hair. 'I have an idea.'
Before Ethan could beg for mercy, one of the girls pulled a marker from her backpack. With practiced strokes, she drew a bra and glasses onto his bare chest, giggling with each stroke. Another grabbed his discarded jeans and stuffed them into her oversized backpack.
'This is going to be the best story ever,' she said, snapping a few photos with her phone. 'See you later, Tarzan!'
With a final round of laughter, the girls sauntered off towards their dorm, leaving Ethan to his fate. He was still hanging there, a monument to teenage stupidity, the dinosaur boxer briefs a constant, chafing reminder of his humiliation. He imagined them showing those pictures around school. His jeans were gone! What was he going to do? He was stuck in a hanging wedgie in his embarrassing boxer briefs. The shame was unbearable. He wished the ground would just open up and swallow him whole.
OP, leave mommy’s basement, now! Get out, get a job, go outside.
Yeah...get out and run for president.
If Donald can get elected, there is no reason on earth that you can't get elected.
In collage, we actually tried to pull off a panty raid as a pure prank. On of the girls at the dorm was the daughter of a cop and actually owned a weapon, which she discharged, twice, as we entered screaming at the top of our voices. She wounding two of the guys I was with and ended the prank right then and there.
American collages are now as unsafe as American middle or high schools.