jealousy; confusion ?
at first, i thought i was over you; i thought i no longer liked you. i'm still sort of doubting that. back then, when you used to rant to me how you don't know how you were supposed to "love" the girl you liked, one of my best friends, i didn't know whether i should try to help or be jealous. actually, at that time, i think i just liked flirting with you. but as time went by, i realized that i liked talking to you. i was able to talk to you and feel comfortable. our bickering and fighting gave me something to look forward to each day. i actually miss that a lot. i admit, i was jealous of my friend, because i wanted to be like her. i wanted you to like me, but i didn't want to ruin our friendship. after, the other friend's secret slipped out and you found out she liked you, you were always ranting to me about how she was so annoying and all, but before you even found out, you were okay with her. i was scared that if i let you know, you would do the same. actually, i'm not one to confess either. i don't think i ever will, but truthfully i still wish you were able to be around me. yet, i see you found another girl. at this point, i thought i got completely over you and i really don't like anyone anymore. actually, i don't even know if i want a relationship. but yesterday, when i saw a couple of things, i started to get a little jealous. remembering the times that i used to be around you, looking at stars, consisting playfully fighting and whatnot, i started to feel a pang of jealousy. i really missed those times; the times i laughed with you, despite all those embarassing moments. despite all those awkwaard moments, i realized that i miss them a lot. i mean, i hate the way you dress and look, no offense, but i just love how you are around me. i guess it's because you were willing to get even with me when i fought and it made things interesting. actually, at the moment, i don't even know if i still like you, but i think i'm jealous):