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OUT OF CONTROL- AFFAIR!!

I have be married 15+ years. Last year after my mom died, something changed in me. I began to party, drink, and stay out all nite. I no longer had a desire to be a wife or mother. Over the past year I have had sexual encounter with more men, than I have had in my 43 years of living. 13 Different men. After the 1st or second encounter , it became easier to just be with somebody without feeling bad. My husband is a very spiritual person, and I know that he has known in his spirit what is going on, but he has not asked me directly. I have wanted to stop this "OUT OF CONTROL" behavior, but at the same time, I can be who I cant be with my husband. Now my husband is fed up with me. I haven't being out partying in a while, but I just slept with a 60+year old married man on Tuesday. I've been known him for a month or so. I feel like I am being controlled by ** demon. I want my life back.

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