Sometimes I feel so miserable, I wonder why I called the ambulance the other time and why I didn't just let myself die.
Suicide is selfish. I've been there, but it's selfish to your friends and family, and to the world. Don't leave me. Don't kill yourself. :(
It is selfish to expect someone who is unhappy to be alive just for you to have them around... F****** J******!!!!!!!
It's not just so we can have you around. The world kind of needs you and everyone in it. You have a responcibility to this world that you can't abandon.
That responcibility of course being to share your own pain and by doing so prevent the pain of others, to share the pain of others and alliviate it, and to have your own pain allivated by others. The responcibility to be a silent or active member of the community. The responcibility to exist, for life's sake. At least, this is what I realized when I decided not to kill myself. That, and the fact that if I tried to escape my own nightmares of murder and horror by murdering myself I would end up in someone else's nightmares, and someone else would probably resent me as much as I resented all other killers during my life. That, and how fascenating my own mind is, how fascenating yours is, and how unique our interactions are, how advanced and how primitive. I know you love yourself somewhere deep down, and until that feeing surfaces I will love you enough for the both of us.
:( I know that feeling. You're not really alone.... I know what it's like to want to disappear. The thing is, we don't really want that. If you think about it, once you're dead you will fade away anyway, so while you're alive you might as well just go and get what you want and fight for something. And you shouldn't give a damn about what other people say... Don't kill yourself, ok?
Cause you realy don't want to die
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