I loved that it happend, but i know it shouldn't have
In high school i had a teacher who i used to fantasize about in class. i was not the only girl to do so; i would sit in class with other girls and we would talk about how we would turn eighteen and have s** with him, obviously we knew it would never happen, but it was always good to think about. i was one of his best students. we would email back and forth and when i got to college we planned to hang out. i was so f****** nervous, i was acting pathetic. anyway we continued to hang out and still do, i love spending time with him. i mean ok there is something i do love and then there is something i don't. let me try to explain... he mostly speaks, he is an english teacher, intelligent, smart good looking and just well rounded. i mostly stay quiet, i mean yes it's ok to be quiet but it bothers me and i leave a bit unsatisfied. we're been hanging out for over half a year. my friends were at first against the idea of me hanging out with my himeacher, but now they're used to it, especially now that they have met him and see for themselves what a great person he is. i was scared to tell my mom at first, but when i did, she was totally for it. i did tell my friends that i like him and that i would never kiss him or do anything with him... mostly because he has a girlfriend for a few years now, and they live together. but deep down it's not true, i do want to kiss him, i do want to spend all my time with him. not too long ago we hung out, got very playful, everything was just great and we kissed. it lasted for about a minute, and then i pushed him away told him i cant do this to his girlfriend(which i've met and also hung out with) and he cant do that to her. now its bothering me, literally everything reminds me of it. i try to stay busy and keep my mind off of it but something happens that reminds me of it and bam im back into it. i loved that it happend, but i know it shouldn't have. after we just got back to talking as if it didnt happen. and still do talk. i need to see him and want to ask him if he told her, why he did it, and if he cheated on her before... i'll keep you guys updated on what happens. hopefully you'll be able find my posts and comment. this is my first day here. and i'm tyring to make the best of my confessions.