My best friend is a controlling dictator.
She doesn't let me do anything. she threatens to never speak to me again. she knows she has me wrapped around her little finger, and that's completely true. i'm submissive to her, and i let her control me.
only because i need her entirely too much to say no. i can't imagine my life without her, and i'm willing to completely give up anything and everything, including my happiness, for her. as long as she's satisfied.
and i hate it. it's the worst feeling in the world knowing i let her do this to me. it destroys me. i'm just her b**ch and there's nothing i can do about it because i don't want to lose her.
i've tried talking to her about it so many times, but that definitely doesn't work. she's stubborn and a total dictator of my feelings. she probably laughs at me for being so weak. she probably doesn't even need me anymore.
the scariest part is that when it gets down to it, i don't know how hurt i would be if she just left me be. it's not like i see her every day, she lives in a totally different state.
i've had to deal with long distance relationships ending before, i've dealt with my own mother's death, i can most likely get over this. i just don't want to. i want everything to be okay. and i don't know how to do that. it's so hard, and i'm slowly giving up.