"how could you pretend you had no part in this"

Me and you had a fall out. I'm not sure how things blew up. Part of me feels like its because I felt replaced. Part of me felt like it was because you were the only one I would ever turn to. You were the only one I called bestfriend. Five years, five years things went by and I feel like somewhere down the line things just got f***** up. The fall out was the worst. What you didn't understand that night was what happened the night before. When I woke up to my cell phone, something I was lucky to have, and found you my bestfriend.. Someone i loved more than life itself? What did I wake up to that morning. I woke up to cussing and blame. I woke up to hate that I'll never understand. I wish you could have been in my skin, moi copain. I died. I died, and am a dead person inside this skin of mine. I tried to be mature with you, I tried to make things work, I was bombarded with childish tantics and immature fighting words. I was thrown hypocritical blame and nonsense. You had no idea what I was going through, no idea at all. The one night I needed you the most. You weren't even there. You died. Now I wish you could see the deep scars left on my skin, the angry frustration my body suffered. How I didn't eat for four days. and when I did I threw up everything. I have liver and brain damage, I was going to tell you. You werent there to listen. And now I'm dying. And can't wait to be dead. I lie awake at night my soul searching more answers I'll never find. I'm not pretending, I never was. I saw it coming before you did, there's just some things you can't stop from happing.

Report this

1 Comment

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • I feel for you, I know what it's like to go threw something like this. I lost my bestfriend and three weeks later I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. I'm still fighting it today, and undourtantly me and her are still not on talking terms, someday I hope to speak with her again. And clear up past remorse. Good luck to you, I hope the two of you will find a way to get past this.

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?