Heart broken for the love of my life....

It's been 7 days since I last have had contact with my Lover/Best Friend and Companion. We started last year seeing each other and fell in love. Both of us married of 30 yrs + to other people. My husband somehow found out, went to his wife and now we are both in limbo with many many burdens from our long marriages. I know I should not contact him after we both decided to take a break till things cool down for us to breathe and decide if divorce was in order but I miss him so much my heart aches. In our last conversation on phone we both were crying and had been for several nights, expressed our feelings for each other. I am wanting to continue with divorce from an abusive marriage that is why I found him , now I am not knowing if I should contact him, wait 6 mths or try to move on without something that I have never had until I found him. I now discovered thru him that I could be loved and I can love someone....

Report this

1 Comment

  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • here is my two cents, which is of limited value, considering i dont know the particulars of your relationship or his. it is only the right decision to get a divorce if you are doing it for yourself and it being the 'right' decision is not contingent upon other factors - like being with a particular person. for you, it sounds, leaving your husband is the right decision. if this is not the case for your lover, if you are more or less the only reason hed consider leaving for, you don't want him to leave for you. its the wrong decision and it will come back to haunt you both, tainting your new relationship. if you and him are not meant to be, consider that he taught you a lesson in what you need in a relationship, what level of intimacy you can have, friendship, the physical aspect...and next time around, do not settle for less. if you truly love someone i do believe that you ultimately want whats best for them. like i said, i dont know your lovers story, but is being with you whats best for him? will it cut him off from a family he loves, a community he has strong ties to, children who will no longer respect him? regardless of the answer, i also dont believe that your feelings for him, which he encouraged by being in this relationship with you, is a burden you should have to shoulder alone. what i think you should do is write him one last email. tell him how you feel about him, tell him that youre available to be with him if thats what he wants, but also make it clear that you love him, not just 'want' him. so tell him that you dont want him if his heart is unsure. tell him he doesnt have to respond and that you respect whatever path it is he has to walk upon now. and maybe one day in the future it will lead back to you....for now, try to move on the best you can so that if he does come back you wont feel resentful, you wont feel as though you 'waited' for him. live your life, learn about yourself...i know, easier said than done. but you deserve peace and happiness -and so does he. and i dont believe that you could be happy with him if he wasnt happy with you, or that his wife can be happy with him if he isnt happy with her. eventually the misery of one effects the other. so have faith in world, send him that letter and promise yourself that you love him enough to let him go and hope that by doing all the right things, by him and by yourself, youll be rewarded with true love again one day, either through him or someone else. good luck, i hope you find the peace and happiness you deserve.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?