I am terrible lier

I live here alone at home. I have no other thoughts of in my head rather then kill myself. im allready 25 but i have no point of life. I seach online dates. I tell them i love them but i dont. then leave them after few months without nothing and start new life. Make new profile. build up and start over. I have no feelings any more. Everything around me is only 0 and 1 i live and work with computers. numbers for me is the only thing that mathers. I put everything in logic. Even love. I build up algorithms to make perfect boyfrend online. Dont get me wrong i have tried real dates with real girls but they were all boring. i acted someone who i am not . a prince on white stable. coming to save all. I am so sick of it! I am sick of being someone else. When i am myself nobody care. But to pretend someone real nice then everyone relate. I am fake from bottom to the top. I use even my best friend. I use everyone. Lucky i have not scammed for money jet. I hack just to have fun and see in people private life. It is turn on only for me. I just wonder will this be like this til the end? I dont care for any girl i meet. In internet or in real. I am selfish. Always think of myself. How to make fun of other people. I record online every conversation and post them online for others to laugh about. Even in real dates i record them and edit them funny way. It is amazing how nobody know about it still.
For what it is worth I am sorry to the people i used. But i only say it because it is logical way to do it.

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