Ok here goes . . .
im 22 and i've just started a new job, its ok and its easier than my last job, i've been with my girlfriend for over 5 years now, its good, im really close to her family, her father just split with her mother and its still kinda a sore point, no explanation, no warning just up and gone. i really hate him for that, i hate seeing what its doing to her family, her mum is trying to keep it together for the kids, but i can see it in her eyes, it makes me sick thinking about him.
Recently i got a text on my cell from a girl i used to know from school we have a huge history and i was deeply in love with her, well shes moved back into town and is doing ok for herself, she asked me if i wanted to meet and catch up, just for a drink in town nothing shady. i agreed, having not seen her in over 7 years and wanted to know what she was doing these days, well we met up and i had a really great time, i mean she had it hard, her family kicked her out when she was 16 and she had to fend for herself, shes got a great job in sales, with assistants and everything, well i had only planned to meet up for an hour or so but we ended up spending the whole day together, then i started to feel things for her again, i mean we went back to her place and got to talking and ended up fooling around.
The next day we ended up going out again, i mean she is amazing, i haven't seen her in over 7 years and in 7 minutes i fell for her again, i cant get enough i don"t know whats wrong with me, i love my girlfriend and it kills me to hurt her like this, she would be crushed if she ever found out and i feel like such a d***, i mean her dad has just run out on her mum and here i am playing behind her back, i love her more than anything in the world and it physically hurts to think about what im doing to her, but the more time i spend with this other girl the less i start to care, i know it sounds horrible but she completes me, whenever i see her my heart feels like its going to explode, when i touch her its like electric, i hate when i have to leave her and go home, its been four days now and i've seen her everyday except today, and i feel like im about to have a heart attack, i feel sick with worry hoping that she is ok, i can't stand not being with her, i cant eat i haven't slept since i left her that first night i cant concentrate on anything except the next time i can see her, i've got butterfly's all the time, i feel like im about to burst into tears every time i think about her not being with me, i don't want to do anything except be with her.
I JUST WANT TO KILL MYSELF FOR WHAT IM DOING TO MY GIRLFRIEND, WHAT SHOULD I DO ? ? ? ? ? ? ?