Black and Blue

You were my first love. I thought you were it for me. We would hold hands, and kiss each other's noses. We would lay in my front lawn and watch the clouds pass by. Every night you would call me, and we would fall asleep on the phone, just listening to eachother's voices. On the nights that we would spend the night together, you would hold me tight, kiss me gently, and always whisper into my ear before you fell asleep "I love you Nala." You were my Simba, and I was your Nala. We were inseperable. Anywhere you went, I was there. Anywhere I ventured off too, you were there. You'd whipe my tears away, and make all my fears run back to the depths of the closet inside my mind.
Then one night, all of that changed. I remember it as if it was yesterday... I walked out of my shower to find you passed out on my living room floor. I ran to your side to see if you were okay, and that's when I smelled the vodka on your breath. You woke up to find me overing over you, and you grabbed me, kissed me forcefully, and told me to grab you another drink. I refused, and tried to help you to your feet. You fought back, and started screaming at me. I looked into those soft brown eyes, and all I saw was hatred. I was scared of you, for the first time. I told you to get out of my house, and you just grabbed my throat, and pushed me up against the wall. You forced yourself inside of me, while tears of shame slid down my face. I pushed you off me, and ran into a different room. You chased after me. Once you broke through the door, you pushed me onto the bed, and slapped me, continuously until I stopped moving. The pain was so intense, I just wanted it to stop. I let you do whatever you wanted with me, until you passed out ontop of me. I slid you off, got up, dressed myself, and left the house. I started running, without stopping, until I colapsed. I broke down, cried myself till my body gave out. I finally found enough strength to get to my knees, and I walked back home, to find you just waking up. You walked up to me, tried to kiss me, but I turned away and walked to my porch. You joined me to have a cigarette. You asked me what was wrong, and I told you "You don't remember last night?" and you said no. I turned my face, moved my hair, and exposed to bruise you left on the side of my face. You started to cry, and kept saying "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I love you." over and over again...but I just ignored you and asked you to leave. You did as I asked. Hours turned to days, and days to weeks, and yet I still didn't hear from you. Then one day you showed up at my house, tears running down your face, begging for me back. I finally gave in. A couple weeks later, we went to a party. You hit me again. You said sorry, and I accepted. It kept happening. Eventually we seperated, but I was still madly in love with you, even though you abused me, and treated me like complete s***. Four years passed, and still to this day I would give my life for you.
No one knows you did these things to me. No one knows you forced me to have s** with you, even though I didn't want to. No one knows the scars you left upon my body, or how many black eyes and busted lips you gave me. I hid it all. From my family, teachers, and friends. You abused me, and used me for four years...and I hate you for that, but at the same time I will always love you.
I will always be your Nala, and you will always be my Simba.

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  • Classic abused woman syndrome. At what point will you realize your Simba is your Demon?

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