My 1st cousin wanted a baby with me, but she died childless

Long ago In my younger years, My 1st cousin Denise Oscar wanted to have a baby with me, but she died childless. I had 2 chances to get her pregnant. The 1st chance would have guaranteed that she would have been truly in love with me, me and her were always like brother and sister.
But I always used to force kiss her in the lips ( our big Noses disappeared into each other) whenever we were alone, I even kissed her in front of her little brother. And she never gotten mad or angry about it, because deep down, she loved me as well. One day it was just the two of us all alone in my room, and I gotten tired of always force kissing her, I wanted a real kiss from her, a long kiss. A kiss that would guarantee that we were in love, then I asked her.
Me: do you know what I wanna do Denise Oscar. She replied: what, what do you wanna do. I said to her: I want to Kiss you, she looked in shock: what’s that, you want to kiss me. ( I shook my head yes) she smiled: ok let’s kiss. I asked: can we use our Noses, she replied: m-huh, let’s use them.
Then I checked her big Nose for myself “ is your Nose clean” ( me looking nervously into both her nostrils, they were clean ) , then she happily looked into my Big Nose: “ now let’s check your Nose”.
Then we had decided to kiss for real, we weren’t gonna pick sides during our kissing, since my Nose was too big and her Nose was too big and pudgy, we had a big Nose fetish, and we always put our Noses together whenever we kiss. Then we went for it, we smooshed Noses for a split second as she slipped me the tongue 👅, I turned away and said “ ahhh” you slipped me the tongue 👅, I had her spit on my lips. She looked at me “ there, do you feel better “ I said “ No, now kiss me “. So we tried a second time, we smooshed Noses as she once again slipped me the tongue. ( I turned away disgusted by her spilt and saliva in my mouth)
I was disgusted with her as I thought she was teasing me because I thought she hated me and she was not in love with me, and she was teasing me like she always done in the past because I had a Big Nose, and she had the same sized Big Nose as I did.
So I walked away from her disgusted with her for teasing me, she asked “ where you going “ ( she thought we were not done kissing, we still had lots of kissing to do)
So she cried, and she left the house crying, we didn’t bother saying goodbye to each other, I was angry and mad at her for teasing me.
But later on, I found out that she was not at all teasing me, she wanted to French kiss me, she wanted us to kiss for real, and have sexual intercourse with me in the bedroom, and she wanted to have a baby with me, she wanted to prepare me for foreplay so that I’ll eat out her V***** and she may suck my P**** with me. And then we’ll go to bed and have s** for as long as I wanted too and me c****** in her V*****.
And she’ll be pregnant for me, she would have loved to have a baby with me, then the both of us would have had a Son or Daughter. And the both of us can kiss our Baby together. Then I regretted not French kissing her, because if I had stuck my tongue 👅 out for her, she and I could have gone to bed and gotten naked and me and her would have gone Big Nose to Big Nose for as long as we wanted too in the bedroom, as well as French kissing 😽 .
But it never happened because I thought she was teasing me, the very last encounter we had, we got into a great big fight about it, she gave me one last chance to get her pregnant, she said: either you get me pregnant or I’m never gonna have a child with any other man but you. I said no.
She said to my Face, with our Big Noses crooked and together and both of us fuming raging mad at ourselves. She said with tears in her eyes towards my tears eyes: because you broke my heart in our relationship, I’m never gonna have a baby with anybody else but you, because you broke my heart, I’m never having a baby unless it’s with you. So we went Nose to Nose, kissing, this time we kissed until our Big Noses were Crooked to the left side. And we said our goodbyes, some years later, we became friends again, but only friends. I told her I loved her, but she only loved me as a cousin. About 13 years pasted by, She never had a child with any other man, as she kept her promise that she’ll only have a baby with me. Then last year in 2020, she died, and she died childless, I was heartbroken that she died, and that she died hating me because I never gave her a baby, she and I were 1st cousins and we were more then friends and we got into a great big argument and a great big fight about having a baby, and we were in love. But we never had a child, she wanted a baby with me, I robbed her the chance twice in our life’s. Now she has no future, she is dead and she died childless, and I should have died with her. I will someday. I know that in the end, she forgave me for not getting her pregnant, but she kept her promise to never have a child unless it’s with me. Now my future is not that great, my 1st cousin is dead, and I wish to God I gotten her pregnant when she told me to get her pregnant or she’ll never get pregnant unless it’s with me. I’m doomed, I have to live with the consequences of being childless.

May 8

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  • If I could showed you her Facebook, I would, but it’s gone now, her Facebook and my Facebook accounts are both dead.
    She left me in charge of her Facebook after she passed away. And yes, me and her did have a age difference, I was 17, and she was 10, and yes, we both had nice big pudgy Noses. And yes, she did invite me to get her pregnant on our last Nose to Nose fight. You couldn’t see our Noses in that fight. Our Noses fitted perfectly together. Her V***** was Bald, while my P**** was Hairy, if we could have had s**, we would have except we got into a Big Nose to Nose fight, we didn’t have time to get all the way Naked and have Intercourse, we couldn’t have s**, because we were Nose to Nose most of the time. She was trying to tell me to pop her cherry, but she couldn’t because we were Nose to Nose fighting and Kissing, afterwards, my Nose was Crooked to the left, I didn’t know what condition her Nose was in though, she refused to tell me because we got into a big Nose to Nose fight and kissing. If we could have had s**, we would have done it, if she had gotten naked first, and invited me inside her to make a Baby. Then she would have gotten a baby from me.

  • And our Noses were a perfectly identical. So our Noses disappeared into each other.

  • What did our Noses look like, well look at Taran and Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron. That’s who we looked like.

  • OP here, The reason I got with her, was because she was my Crush, she knew this, she went along with it. She didn’t put a stop to it between us, she could have at any time she wanted too. She just kept on letting me and her get together. Because she wanted something born out of our L***. She wanted a baby, but afterwards, we didn’t do it all the way, because of dominance, she wanted to dominate our relationship and I wanted to dominate our relationship. If I had let her dominate the relationship, I wouldn’t be here right now, I’ll be with her right now, looking after our Children and watching them grow up along side her. And we would have not just had one child, we would have had more children. But I tried too dominated the relationship and I failed to bring her to bed to give her that child, if I let her be in charge on our first times, then I would have gotten her pregnant on our first times, but I failed her. Because I had no idea what s** was, I never knew about “ the Birds and the Bee’s “ and I never known what a V***** or P**** was used for. She tried to teach me and Dominate me, but I didn’t know how to have s**, because I was not properly S**-educated. That was a big reason on why we failed too have a Baby, because she tried to teach me how to have s** with her, so we’ll have a baby, and we’ll have more Babies after we have our first baby together. That was the reason on why I broke up with her.

  • After I wrote this post I went to my funeral home's prep room. There's a large male loved one on the table. I call him James Randall. I turned him over. He evacuated his bowels as I pumped him. Feces spewed everywhere. I do this every time I post on this site. Is this what my life has become? I don't want to kill myself because I know soon one of these corpses will come to life and murder me.

  • Those of you that are saying I was in the wrong, you’re right, but she was in the wrong too. You gotta know that she was my only friend who never mistreated me, I had zero to no friends except for her. And if she wanted to stop our Kissing, she could have at any time she wanted too. But she wanted to keep me drawn too her. Because I made her feel special and beautiful and every kiss we had, it was a consensual encounter. She loved it so much, that she decided to go all the way with me. But after breaking her heart twice, she and I decided to break up. And she kept her promise not to have children, because every time she saw her child, if she had one, she would see us together again. So she decided not too have any children to save herself the trouble of Incest. She didn’t want to deal with it, so she died Childless.

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