My life feels like a completely wasted life. I am spoiled, i have a car and i just got my license, i have a good family who loves me, i go to a private boarding school, and i play tennis and ice hockey. Most kids would want just one of what i have. And i am very proud of my posessions. But I'm numb.
I have no feelings at all. I went away from my house for three weeks and didn't miss a single person in the whole world. I can't get mad at anyone and I have no true freindships. I lie to everyone about my life stories so that i have something i can tell people about me. I have no stories, just dreams.
I work all day to get good grades and at night i play sports. I'm just going through the motions of life to be what everyone wants me to be, successful. I am very smart and very athletic and i have humongous dreams. But i won't ever be a CEO and i won't ever own a company. I'm just going to school to be some low level lawyer in some firm to make a mediocre living to keep myself alive.
College is all i have to look forward to. I can start over, create moments i will always remember, make new freinds, and hopefully find the one girl that is right for me. The only problem? which college is right for me? I don't even know who i really am, how am i supposed to pick a college that explains who i am?
I am not o.k.