My Life

My life feels like a completely wasted life. I am spoiled, i have a car and i just got my license, i have a good family who loves me, i go to a private boarding school, and i play tennis and ice hockey. Most kids would want just one of what i have. And i am very proud of my posessions. But I'm numb.

I have no feelings at all. I went away from my house for three weeks and didn't miss a single person in the whole world. I can't get mad at anyone and I have no true freindships. I lie to everyone about my life stories so that i have something i can tell people about me. I have no stories, just dreams.

I work all day to get good grades and at night i play sports. I'm just going through the motions of life to be what everyone wants me to be, successful. I am very smart and very athletic and i have humongous dreams. But i won't ever be a CEO and i won't ever own a company. I'm just going to school to be some low level lawyer in some firm to make a mediocre living to keep myself alive.

College is all i have to look forward to. I can start over, create moments i will always remember, make new freinds, and hopefully find the one girl that is right for me. The only problem? which college is right for me? I don't even know who i really am, how am i supposed to pick a college that explains who i am?

I am not o.k.

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  • Why would you want to have "new friends" and "hopefully find the one girl that is right for me" if you have no feelings whatsoever?

    You're not making much sense.

    Also, " I am very smart and very athletic and i have humongous dreams. But i won't ever be a CEO and i won't ever own a company." That sounds like BS to me also. Anyone can own a company. It isn't that hard, just takes a little bit of fearlessness. Businesses don't become large overnight. Pick something you love to do, if you indeed do love something, and make a business out of it. Grow it slowly but deliberately and expand when you are able.

    If you are serious on working on your emotional problems, or lack of emotions, then you probably shouldn't be a lawyer.
    Go to school for social work.

    Maybe you don't know how to love? If that's true, maybe that's because you don't feel anyone has loved you? Maybe you feel people "care about" you but maybe not that close feeling of love? I don't know what exactly is going through your head. What were your parents like growing up?

    What I think it is is that you're young and starting to explore life, and your fear of the unknown and fear of failure is inhibiting your ability to be happy.

    If you still look at this, why don't you elaborate a little bit?

  • Despite a good family and life some kids are useless f*** ups this sure is 1

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