So much Anger

I have so much hate for life right now. I fought in Afghanistan many times and they believe I have severe PTSD. I have no love for nothing not even my wife and kids. I have found one thing in life that makes me happy and it drives me crazy. Her name is Ingrid and I work with her everyday. I wish I could be with her, just to touch her. I know nothing like that will ever happen because we are both married. I want to tell her how much she makes me happy and forget about all my problems. When I am not having nightmares, I am having wonderful dreams with me and her in it. These dreams aren't even s** dreams, they're just us two touching and being together. It is a damn shame that my kids and my wife don't make me happy. I sometimes think about just ending it all and have an eternal dream of me and her together forever. I wish I could tell her how I fell without consequences, but soon it will be over anyways because I am sick and don't have much longer.

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  • The reason you feel nothing is because you saw many people die with no loud noises , no glamour and no emotions , life meant nothing and death happened like taking a leak . You need serious help or you will destroy your life and other peoples lives . It was actually fun to kill people and watch them explode and blood splattering , killing was fun . Now your back home in civilization , regardless how screwed up our country is , it is civilized compared to them . If your have any feelings for yourself and your children and wife understand that you are a sick person and need help . I was a Navy Hospital Corpsman , so you know what I went through . We all need help

  • if u r already on ur way out, dont hurt anybody while closing the door.

    Let it go if u know u'll hurt this ingrid person.

    Keep the dreams close to you, try to enjoy wots left...i actually have nth to say, i feel so ungraterful for my life right now... Tht MINE was bad!
    Speechless, dude,... Just, i dont know, say ur goodbyes i guess, try to laugh as much as possible, i dont know, seriously, nw i just feel like an ass!
    Big bea hug to you dude :)

  • What are you suffering from? :( Please tell us.

  • leukemia

  • Hi! Me again. Are you getting treatment? Is it 100% sure that you will die from it? If not, please dont lose hope. Please write details.

  • PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's very common in soldiers that return from war.

  • Yes but you said at the end that you are sick and it will be over soon. What did you mean by that?

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