Is it normal?

I've had a girlfriend for quite a while now. Some time ago she told me that her brother used to abuse her sexually as a kid. I felt angry and frustrated about the situation at the time, but a few days later I started thinking about it more and more. The more I thought about it I realized that I loved it! I fantasized about it and still do. It drive me crazy just writing about it. It ha gotten to the point where I asked her to make videos of her with other people. So far it's been 3 videos and I love every single one of them and watch them every night. It's come to the point where I don't even care about her sexually and just rather see her f*** another guy. I feel sort of guilty after but I honestly think its worth it. Am I wrong for this? Is it bad on my behalf?

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  • NO, NO, AND H*** NO!!!

  • NO NO NO, AND H*** NO!!!

  • YES, YES, AND H*** YES!!!

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