I'm caught

I have found myself in a situation with a man that is not anything new but the need to confess is overwhelming me and eating me alive. I met him online while seeking volunteer opportunities to enhance my then stressful life I was coming to the end of a four year bad relationship which ended up me scared for life cause my ex-boyfriend put me through so much stuff one good book wouldn't hold it all tales of lies spun to gain my trust my heart and entrance into my then simple life.

Wives ever six months girlfriends more than any one man needs. Anyway after making the decisioln I wasn't taking any more I decided to leave and restart my life and then I met a new Guy we will call Kyle he was what I thought at first was a nice guy nothing big but after our first meeting I was very intrigued by him he needed someone like me to help with his business and I needed something to do initially I didn't think anything in regards to a relationship but over time the attraction was evident the pull between us was like gravity he is a wonderful guy smart, good looking, all the things a woman would want in a man consideration and a servants heart. There was just one problem he to is married.

Initially I tried to avoid the subject and any opportunity to let things get out of control but it didn't take long for me to cave in and we pursued a relationship other than business. He explained to me how his wife of four years was a perfect wife at home butt she has little to no business sense and wasn't a people person at all. Seeing how his business dealt with the public it was really hard to have her as part of the business. I listened and i explained to him my past situation and then one day after we had sat and talked for about an hour in the car he told me he wanted to be with me. I freaked out and got out the car dropping all of my belongings as I ran to the door he chased after me and he asked me for some time (three months) to explain other things to me and at first i told him did you hear anything I said to you about what I just went through he told me how he wished he had of met me 10 years ago and how our lives would have been so different and that he knows I care for him just give him and chance and I caved. After all we were a good fit for each other so we told one another.

Like turned into love and the problems began. First of all let me say I'm not the typical woman to date a married man I have been on the other side and I didn't like it and further more my conscience has kicked my butt and gotten the best of me for my participation in this. My biggest problem has been dealing with the guilt and the lies trying to figure out is there any possible way this could work. Could we really be meant for one another the time we spend together is magical we get along so great and when it come to growing this business we are a great team.

One day crazy stuff started happening like secret phone calls and text messages, start women coming out of the wood work, pictures of women in his phone and hotel stays with so called female friends. He tried to tell me it was just nothing I was just getting mad over nothing. So one night after a day of discovery and having gotten fed up a friend who I kind of dated for a minute before Kyle who we will call Matt calls and asked could he come see me, and in my moment of madness I said yes knowing full well Kyle was due to come over that night but I had to go and pick him up. So Matt came over and Kyle called I answered and spoke to him briefly and told him I was coming to get him shortly not knowing Kyle was already at my house spying through the window he had his brother drop him off.

He saw me and Matt kissing and I all of a sudden got the overwhelming need to make Matt leave I told Matt i was sorry but I would explain another time but he needed to go now! Matt left and about five minutes later Kyle showed up acting weird I knew from the dirt on his clothes and that he was outside peeping. Neither of us said a word as a matter of fact I tried to introduce the conversation but he would never say a word that night we even had great s** and he stayed with me that night. The next day we were talking and the conversation led to cheating.

I told him I don't have a history of cheating on my ex's even though all of them were caught cheating I never did and then he asked so what about me have you cheated on me??? I stopped him in his tracks and told him let's do this now I know you were at my house last night when my friend was there and I know you saw all that happened I then offered him a chance to break off the relationship but he declined stating he has no room to talk but then telling me I needed to earn his trust again and sever the relationship with Matt in front of him on the phone. Matt was a friend who I had potential to be with once upon a time no one I really had a relationship with but I made the call and he didn't answer.

Now maybe I'm wrong but this situation may not sound honorable but I really. don't believe in lying and I confessed to him he didn't have to drag it out of me but then he explained he was hurt to see his future wife with another man "future Wife" boy he got me there. We agreed to move forward with our relationship but I explained how I was upset about the texts and phone calls and going out with different so called friends and it needed to stop he agreed and then told me now I needed to earn his trust back wow?? He is the one who is married i'm single he has got to be kidding I thought.

This is a man who I'm with 7 days a week almost round the clock I spend more time with him than he does his own wife for some reason she doesn't feel the need to participate in the business he is building and I think that is the majority of the problem with him. I'm not seeing anyone else as a matter of fact I did cut off my relationship with Matt totally to keep problems down. Not only that but he uses this incident as an excuse to now start going out more and creating tagged pages to talk to other women. Then he and his wife had a big argument and he told me that the chances of him staying with her are 20% now but that was 6 months ago a week ago he told me he almost left her again but he is still there. I know I need to end this but does he actually think I'm in the wrong here???

I'm not sure what to do or think but I'm tired and fed up my personal issues and silly longings to make this work but I know in the end I would be in the same place as her. I have been working at this place going on a year i'm now his partner and we have a great business I don't want to leave the business I have worked hard to get it where it is now but I don't know how I can not be with him and see him be happy nor do I want to work hard to make this business a success and he dump me anyway so what do I do??? I need help!!!

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