My marriage is no longer enjoyable

We have been married for 11 years, have one 5 year old daughter that that I absolutly adore and can't imagine or even want to imagine her not in my life...
My wife never has been what I'd conside a generally "happy" person. Always negative and feeling sorry for herself, and constently tried to keep up with her sister. In the past few years, I've noticed that she has become more and more bitter. She loses her temper easily and often, and when it's because some something I did ( not make the bed, empty the dishwasher, etc. ) she can and has in the past become verbally and physically hit me before. I haven't and never would hit her and would never call her names and attack my family like she does me. I'm getting really, really tired of it. I don't want to get a divorce, but I'm starting to get worn down by the negativity, the attitude, the hitting and lack of interest romanticly and sexually. I don't know if because I've put her feelings and wants ahead of mine that she no longer respects me or what.


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  • Tell her to grow the f*** up and that if she hits you or treats you badly you'll consider divorce.

  • Sounds like you guys would benefit from some counseling. I'm not married, but that's just my opinion.

  • I think your wife sounds like she's just not happy...with anything in her life. But most likely the bigger part of what she's not happy about is herself, so she takes it out on you. You are in this together, so the two of you need to have a talk about what needs to change to get your marriage and both of you individually back on track to being happy again and support one another. If she's dealing with depression, suggest a therapist. If you're having marriage issues, go to couples counselor. Ask her what would make her happy and how you can help. But change does come from within, so she has to be the one willing to make those changes. Maybe plan some well deserved date nights, or weekends away - find a way to reconnect. It's worth it.

  • I am not sure if you were expecting an input; I am woman, so here is what I think; talk to her, clearly tell her no hitting, address this urgently; I can not put more emphasis on this NO HITTING; tell her and ask her if she hits you one more time what she expects you to do; give her fair warning and tell her that everything you do is because you love your family; other than this try not to judge her and find her faults; same she should do with you; help as much as your energy allows, and when you can not excuse yourself because you will have to get to it later; announce it, do not be passive; lastly, you can not change anyone, only yourself, so you be the one that brings joy, in the right dose, do not be a show off; in life not everything is perfect, and once we have children we need to create a safe and loving environment, otherwise I am not sure how the children are able to adapt.Wish you health and happiness to all of you. Be kind to everyone.

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