Since 5 years of age, I've been bullied to suicidal point. Through primary school I was a loner and hated by all. From year 8 to 10, it became worse. I was even bullied by the teachers for being an "attention seeker" for cutting from depression.
A few months ago, I found out I have many mental issues which include; manic depression, high anxiety levels, borderline personality, bipolar and a few others I can't think of this second. This made me even more upset because now, I had something else to worry about.
I've tried to commit suicide 4 times. But, as you can see, it failed.
In 2010, I found myself a magnificent boyfriend who was willing to give me everything and anything but I cheated, mainly because I have been cheated on numerous times by my ex's. Yet, he still gave me everything and anything. This man I love. You may think 16 in a few months time is too young to know what love is. But I disagree, because he saved my life. I was going to hang myself, to finish everything once and for all. But then he came into my life and changed who I was. For that, I love him so much and have been together for over a year.
But before him, I was an emotional and physical wreck. Not knowing who I was most of the time... Imagine going to school in grade 10, not knowing who you were. Imagine not knowing what you're going to say or do. And imagine trying to tell your "best friend" you were raped the day before and her just laughing in your face. I was 14 at the time. I know who it was, I can't tell because I just despise cops from what they did to my friend who was like a brother to me.
Oh, there's also the problem with me feeling like I'm fat and ugly. I can see I'm not fat, I can see I'm an average looking person, but I still feel it... No matter what I see. Why? Thanks to the kid who's been bullying me from age 5 and pressured me into things that I can't forgive myself for
**I'm sorry if your reading this and it was too long. I'm really sorry about that. But I NEEDED to get this off my chest**