I have liked this guy (well, he is

I have liked this guy (well, he is 10 years older than me; 45 to my 35). for about 6 months--but he doesn't know I like him. he is a friend of my sister's boyfriend. i called him anonymously once and told him i thought he was gorgeous--he thought i had the wrong number. little did he know i had the right one. i wrote him a letter and a poem and sent it through the mail, again anonymously.
the reason i've done it like this is because i feel myself to be inferior to him--especially in the looks dept. i've had many attractive boyfriends and have been close to getting married a couple times too. but since having kids i have awful stretch marks & have gained a little weight. plus my smile is not so good because of this medicine i was given when i was little that made them dull and gray. due to stress & age i guess, my hair is graying & thinning. (just so you know, when i dress right and fix myself up, i look pretty good--it's the underneath part that's the problem)
i hate all this, because inside i am still young & want to be with someone i could enjoy life with. but it seems that so much hinges on looks, that i am afraid of rejection. i, personally felt a spark when we were together, but maybe that's just me. i am college-educated, have a sense of humor, enjoy the simple things, like poetry, reading and nature. i feel i have a good personality & things to offer another, but my fear keeps me from pursuing my desires.
i tell myself that the worst that can happen is for him to say he doesn't have the same feelings for me, but then i wouldn't have the same sense of excitement & expectancy i have now. i guess you could say it's reality vs. fantasy.


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  • I say go for it! I mean, it seems lie you could not feel any worse about yourself than you already do, so what are you risking by facing the chance of rejection?

  • Did you take the chance?? I am the first commenter

  • ha ha you want to feel young but be with a man 10 years your senior.

  • thanks. i guess i'm not so concerned about the age difference as i am my body--which has aged too much for its 35 short years, and has been ravaged by pregnancy and stress. i want to take your advice, but don't really fear his rejection as i do everyone else finding out i was rejected. i mean, i consider myself to be strong--i've dealt with rejection before, and while it hurt, i didn't let it affect my sense of self. who knows, i might take a chance after all--if i do, i will let you know.

  • The age difference matters not. If you like him why do you not stike up a conversation and maybe casually go for coffee or something in that nature, Get to talking and find out hows things go.
    As far as your conern about marks and getting older are concerned..let that go. most guys, especially at 45, are not that shallow.
    The only way you will ever know is to go and find out. He may have the same feelings for you, guys are shy by and large and do not understand unless we are hit over the head what a women wants. LOL

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