I have liked this guy (well, he is
I have liked this guy (well, he is 10 years older than me; 45 to my 35). for about 6 months--but he doesn't know I like him. he is a friend of my sister's boyfriend. i called him anonymously once and told him i thought he was gorgeous--he thought i had the wrong number. little did he know i had the right one. i wrote him a letter and a poem and sent it through the mail, again anonymously.
the reason i've done it like this is because i feel myself to be inferior to him--especially in the looks dept. i've had many attractive boyfriends and have been close to getting married a couple times too. but since having kids i have awful stretch marks & have gained a little weight. plus my smile is not so good because of this medicine i was given when i was little that made them dull and gray. due to stress & age i guess, my hair is graying & thinning. (just so you know, when i dress right and fix myself up, i look pretty good--it's the underneath part that's the problem)
i hate all this, because inside i am still young & want to be with someone i could enjoy life with. but it seems that so much hinges on looks, that i am afraid of rejection. i, personally felt a spark when we were together, but maybe that's just me. i am college-educated, have a sense of humor, enjoy the simple things, like poetry, reading and nature. i feel i have a good personality & things to offer another, but my fear keeps me from pursuing my desires.
i tell myself that the worst that can happen is for him to say he doesn't have the same feelings for me, but then i wouldn't have the same sense of excitement & expectancy i have now. i guess you could say it's reality vs. fantasy.