Ugly Indian Mind
I am going to confess my whole life in front of you, being born an indian, discriminated for not being white, with an agony deep within that we were treated slaves just a half century before, i have been inferior in the last 30 years of existence, i always wanted my counry to be given the respect for what it was has been and will be, but i am not yet with a shoulder high enough to say, what w are now, is something that can be respected, for a 30 good things we have the remaining 70 are bad, i am sad about the state, and i know i can help, but being an indian i still feel inferior to head and do that help.
i try to do a good job, i do my best, but i am still scared of my boss, i don't think i should be afraid of my boss. as long as i am not hurting him, but now i think i will hurt him, so as to justify the fear i have.
i am having a wife, who i feel is very faithful to me, i am faithful to her too, to an extent, as not a day goes away without me having lustful thots of other woman, and if i get a chance good enough, i am sure i will sleep with another woman. and before i married i guess i have had more number of s** than what i have had after marriage. i have had so much s**, i don't even remember the names of many of the women i slept with.
I have lost a lot of money, trying to make my friends happy, even today, when i have the green i am the one who spends, but when i don't have the green, i am so scared to ask anyone even the money for food, oh i am not poor, in the country where i live, i guess i earn around 2000 dollars a month, and that's good money here, at least for me.
I have some dreams, but i am still scared deep whether i will be able to acheieve them, i don't know when the rolls will ride up my driveway, but i wish to buy a rolls, and when i say it, people think i can, i don't know whether i can.
finally i think being born an indian is really great, and its only the inferiority we must get done with, other than that everything is fine i believe. i don't know who all will read this, but i hope, some anonymous, will help me understand me.
i love the world and i love you too..