An odd sadness

I'm normally a very happy person. I am a man in my 40s and have had many great relationships with women. I am a better person with a woman in my life.

I have cheated several times in the past but successfully covered it up. I just adore women so much I cannot limit myself to one. I try hard not to hurt my lovers. I eventually break up with my women. I feel like there is too much joy in life to explore, not just sexually, to eliminate options.

I maintain my love for every woman I've ever had a relationship with. Most of them still want me in their lives, if only in occasional and limited ways. There are a couple who dislike me very much because I ended things.

But I am sad today. I am lonely because there hasn't been a woman in my life for several months. I have a couple I've been flirting with but I haven't been able to bring myself to make an actual move. Which is not at all like me.

I have been between women this long before but never felt sad like this.

What is this melancholy?

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5 Comments

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  • well then work on the lonliness get a girl who you care about and don't cheat on her just use your head relationships go through rough patches... ok i feel bad about calling you a dumb f*** (i hate never having been in a relationship even a stupidly short one...)

  • Maybe I do want to settle down with a woman. I'm not sure and I need to know it isn't just my current loneliness. To go through the motions of a love commitment, then fall back into my patterns would be cruel, I think.

    I do develop deep love for women I just can't seem to make it a lasting love.

    It is my curse to be so committed to having relationships without having it within me to see it as something life long. I know I have hurt women I've loved and I do not feel good about that.

    I just need someone to curl up with, to caress, share my thoughts, listen to her, share laughter. It isn't all about s** but s** is a part of it.

  • perhaps it's karma biting you in the ass you dumb f*** cheating has it's repercussions and fuggin lonelyness after years of s** is a blessed response for us truly lonely guys (never had a gf... not without trying mind you)

  • It seems like you are in a mid life crises no pun intended...

    Instead of wanting s** with people who are not your partner in many relationships/marriage, you seem to be the complete opposite.

    You have s** with many people, but it maybe that you are starting to want to settle down and start a life with a special person

  • You don't really know a woman...they have all held back from you. You have missed the forest for the trees.

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