I am sick. Really sick all the time.
I am a very sick girl. I obsessively try to hide it because I don't want people to a) worry or b) think I'm a hypochondriac. I hide in my bedroom and spend 15-18 hours sleeping.
My actual diagnosis are:
Hypomanic Bipolar Disorder
Major, treatment resistant Depressive Disorder
General Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Metabolic Syndrome X
Non-alcoholic Fatty Liver
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Degenerative Arthritis of the Spine
2 Bulging Discs
Chronic A Typical Migraines
I have tried to commit suicide 4 times, was THANKFULLY discovered and got help each time.
I cut myself, pinch, bite, and pull my hair out.
I don't eat for days, then gorge and purge.
I am obese, have horrible manly body hair, acne, scars, discoloration, and surgical scars all over my body. The hair on my head is falling out, I constantly have rashes and sores.
I vomit a lot, have chronic b***** diarrhea, heavy period and debilitating menstrual cramping, I have no energy, no ambition, I faint weekly, and I have no talents or skills.
I have developed an addiction problem with artificial marijuana (which my cousin gets for me), I have no money, no job, no friends, and I still live with my parents. I am 21, and they tell me I will get better once we find the right therapy combination...but there are no "cures" for a lot of what I have...
I am so jealous of my sister. She is 28, has a lot of similar problems that I do, but she always seems happy, and even though she weighs 70 pounds more than me, she is prettier, more successful and she has 3 different men and 2 women that follow her all over the place, and are always having (protected) s** with her...I have never had s**.
I sometimes think I should just end it, but I know my family loves me and they would be devastated. I get angry that they do so much for me, and I get angry that they worry about me, I feel like a burden.
My sister offered me that I could move into her condo with her if I felt the desire to "get away from home", but I get so jealous of her that I am scared of doing/saying something to hurt her. I know it's my problem, not hers.