I am sick. Really sick all the time.

I am a very sick girl. I obsessively try to hide it because I don't want people to a) worry or b) think I'm a hypochondriac. I hide in my bedroom and spend 15-18 hours sleeping.

My actual diagnosis are:
Hypomanic Bipolar Disorder
Major, treatment resistant Depressive Disorder
General Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder

Metabolic Syndrome X
Crohn's Disease
Non-alcoholic Fatty Liver
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Degenerative Arthritis of the Spine
2 Bulging Discs
Chronic A Typical Migraines

I have tried to commit suicide 4 times, was THANKFULLY discovered and got help each time.

I cut myself, pinch, bite, and pull my hair out.

I don't eat for days, then gorge and purge.

I am obese, have horrible manly body hair, acne, scars, discoloration, and surgical scars all over my body. The hair on my head is falling out, I constantly have rashes and sores.

I vomit a lot, have chronic b***** diarrhea, heavy period and debilitating menstrual cramping, I have no energy, no ambition, I faint weekly, and I have no talents or skills.

I have developed an addiction problem with artificial marijuana (which my cousin gets for me), I have no money, no job, no friends, and I still live with my parents. I am 21, and they tell me I will get better once we find the right therapy combination...but there are no "cures" for a lot of what I have...

I am so jealous of my sister. She is 28, has a lot of similar problems that I do, but she always seems happy, and even though she weighs 70 pounds more than me, she is prettier, more successful and she has 3 different men and 2 women that follow her all over the place, and are always having (protected) s** with her...I have never had s**.

I sometimes think I should just end it, but I know my family loves me and they would be devastated. I get angry that they do so much for me, and I get angry that they worry about me, I feel like a burden.

My sister offered me that I could move into her condo with her if I felt the desire to "get away from home", but I get so jealous of her that I am scared of doing/saying something to hurt her. I know it's my problem, not hers.

Mar 15, 2012

Related Posts

1 Comment

  • newest
  • most popular
  • oldest
  • Have you ever heard of a juice fast?

    If you really want to get better I advise you to check out forums at places like rawfoodtalk.com.
    Your body needs to HEAL. Not just your mind.
    A healthy body results in a healthy mind because your brain is an organ that shares the same blood supply with the rest of your body.

    The human body is always trying to repair itself. Why do you think we develop scabs after skin is cut? Or we recover after a cold? You just need to give it half a chance by feeding it the right NUTRIENTS. Start taking vitamins IF THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO. It's easy and a definite starting point.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Reason for reporting this post
Report this comment
Reason for reporting this comment
Delete this post?