I'm A Prostitute

I'm a prostitute. I've been a prostitute since getting laid off in January. I don't prostitute myself often, but that doesn't change the fact that I am.

I don't feel dirty about it, and I don't see anything wrong with it, but I definitely don't enjoy it because a) it's dangerous, and b)I hate the clients, they're gross and I have to fake it. The only thing I like about it is that in two hours (two separate customers) I can make more money than I made slaving away, getting yelled at by my bitchy controlling boss at my old minimum wage job two weeks. And I control my schedule.

YES, I am actively searching for a "normal" job. I've had a few interviews and I'm hoping I get hired soon so I can quit this. The reason why I do it is for extra cash because I'm broke. I'm jobless. I have no friends or family to help me out a little, h*** I have no friends or family period. I need to survive.

I have hopes and dreams and goals and don't plan on doing this forever. Once I pay off my debt and get a regular job I won't do it again. I only do it to stay afloat because I'm having a rough time.

I believe in God, I'm a good girl, I've never gotten in trouble, and I always try to be kind to people. I'm careful not to catch anything or get raped, and no one would ever guess I do what I do.

I have a long distance boyfriend who I love very much and he has no idea. He doesn't even know that I got fired and the reason I'm depressed is because of my s***** financial situation and no job.

When I "work", I'm an actress. I'm not me, I'm whatever name I choose. I smile, get the customer off, and leave like nothing happened.

I needed to get that off my chest because I have no one to talk to about this and my crappy situation. I wish I did.

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  • (PART 1)
    I think that this thread is old, but I'm curious to know if you got out of prostitution. My guess is no.
    I'm a online call girl on a site on the internet. Not a street walker, just online.

    When I was in my 20's in was married with two kids and a 9-5 job at a dental xray lab. I held that job for close to 9 yrs. I also suffer from ADD. I was on medication for it, but I also used street drugs with it. Didn't help me any.

    When I was 28 I got divorced and was introduced to stripping at a club. I slowly merged in the stripping more and more til I was doing it full time. I was no long working my regular job.

    For about 5yrs I was making ends meet with dancing. It was easier then getting up every morning and having to be on time and take orders from a boss. Dancing was also a no brainer. Suffering with ADD it was way easier then trying to think all the time.

  • (PART 2)
    VVVVV

  • One thing led to another and I was introduced to prostitution. The first time I did it, it was a little awkward, but not that hard. I didn't feel dirty or bad about it either. In my normal life I was never really sexually active. Even when I was married I did it to please him faking it just about every time.
    I started to see gentlemen on a regular basis. Eventually I stopped dancing all together because it was interfering with my calls and I would miss clients while dancing at the club, so I stopped and started prostituting full time.

    During the last 8yrs. I haven't even tried to get out of it. I started going to casinos 3 or 4 times a week. I was also addicted to drugs. Goes hand in hand it seems. I worked all the time and when I wasn't working I was at the casino. Im not sure why I lost track of reality but I did. During this time I got preg. with twins. Not from a client but from someone I met and had a one night stand with. I lost tract of him due to losing my phone and all my numbers. I remember the guys first name but didn't pay much attentions to anything else. I didn't know at the time that it would change not only mine but others lives. To make a long story short. I ended up having the babies. Prego with twins and supporting myself by prostituting the whole way through. At the beginning of my 9th month I had the babies. 6pounds each baby boys. Not telling my family until my 8th month my mom and sister suggested that I give the babies up for adoption. Adoption? That is unheard of. I can take care of my babies. Unable to contact the father cause of the lake of info. on him I made the choice to let a really nice couple take them and raise them right. It was hard but I got though it.

  • (PART 3)

    I am leaving a bunch of other mishaps out that have happened in my life but it would take way to long to mention everything.

    Im not sure why this story became so long, but I do understand the feeling of not really having anyone to just tell my story to afraid to be judged and called names. I admit I haven't made any smart decisions in my life and now that I'm 45 yrs. old. I have a 24 and a 19 yr old boys that are good kids (thank God) The twins are 9yrs. I haven't visited them yet, but the family sends me pics and keeps me updated on their lives. I am still a prostitute tho with a gambling problem. I do have my own place and pay my own bills. I do manage on top of going to the casino still. I constantly cause self induced stress for my life. I also still use drugs.

  • (PART 4)

    Wow. Going through all this really makes it clear to myself that I am a f*** up. I am a good person. I have a lot of love and happiness left in my heart, but when does this downhill spiral end. If I don't start making some changes I will die a bum on the street. I don't want my life to end that way.
    Im not sure what steps to take first.
    I do, but do I have time to do so. Do I even have the motivation to change. There is so much to straighten out I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm stuck.
    Im thinking there must be a reason why I'm putting this out there on the interweb. God only knows.:)

  • Don't listen to everyone else.

    I admire you. It takes a lot of will power to be able to do what you do. You are a true inspiration to people. Prostitution isn't a dirty job. How is it? People always have casual s** you just get paid for it. In fact, that makes you wiser and more respectable.

    Did you know that you in your occupation has been proven to lower the rates of rape in society? Prostitution is doing a good. Who cares that it's s**. Your job does not define you.

    You are a survivor. You admit to needing the money and you go and take it because you want to survive and not live off welfare like so many middle-low class people in society. You WORK to get paid in a job no one wants to do, but has to be done.

    I admire you, respect you and wish you all the best in the future.

  • w****

  • Aids is a killer

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