Biggest mistake of my life
Three years ago, I married an older woman. I knew she was beyond wild, and that she was far better in bed and knew far more about s** than anybody I'd ever been with. I thought I'd hit the jackpot, finding somebody so skilled and who wanted to settle down and have a family, neither of us having been married before. Last year, through a series of unbelievable coincidences, I discovered that she had worked for over twenty years as a prostitute. First, at a brothel in Nevada, and then at two secret call-out services in Florida. I exploded and moved out of the house, and then filed for and got a divorce. I wanted an annulment, because I thought the marriage had been conceived in fraud and consummated in deceit, but the factual circumstances didn't allow for that, so I settled for divorce, which was finalized in December.
Since then, I've learned that, while I can certainly find another wife, I can't possibly replace the s**. And I realize just how important s** was, and is, to me. The women I've had since I left home are pitiable by comparison to my ex, and it is as if they've never made love to a man, or had a man make love to them. It's not just what they don't know how to please a man: they don't even know how to let a man please THEM. It's awful. So, I regret having left my wife, who knew how to please a man and how to BE pleased by one. I want her back, but she won't have me. I can't say I blame her: I said some awful things about her and her past, and though I meant them at the time, I no longer feel that way. I just want her back, no matter what kind of nastiness and perversion and deviancy she may have been involved in before we met. I've never made a mistake so huge, and I would take her back right this minute, and maybe even let her do her former job on the side if she wanted to.
I miss her, and I love her.