Wrong turns...

Some are made on purpose:
- Like the day I convinced myself to move 300 miles away from home to stay with my boyfriend.
- Like the time my boyfriend forgave me for almost cheating on him... and we stayed together.
- Or the second time that happened.

Some you realize farther down the road:
- How you would have been better off if you never moved.
- How you should have ended the relationship when you realized you were ready cheat.
- Or the second time...

Then there are the times you just keep driving to avoid the road altogether... and you realize there is something wrong.

- I have to convince myself everyday that I am happy living in this city, that I left the country girl behind, that I can be happy if I never ride a horse again, that I can be happy living in a place where my neighbors are an arms length away, that I am not afraid to take my dog a walk through the neighborhood, that my boyfriend and I are still happy together etc... But, most of all, that I am happy.

- Everyday I try to escape reality. Daydreams only end in tears, the television can't keep my attention, my imagination is so broken I couldn't read a good book if I tried, I have a hard time drawing anything but circles anymore, my camera has been collecting dust for the past year, and I haven't had the energy to live in years.

- I couldn't keep myself together to finish college, I couldn't tell what it means to have fun, and I let my hopes and dreams disappear before my eyes...

-So, here I am... waiting for that wrong turn that will end the sorrows of life. Whether it be a country road or the one that throws you off a cliff... there will still be tears in my eyes and missing pieces of my heart.

- I realize no one is going to fix my life for me but, I still wish I could find the right man to make it better...

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