I kissed my friend's boyfriend and more
I have been friends with my friend for A few months when she studied abroad and met the love of her life. They dated while she was abroad and continued after she returned. While she was gone I decided to study abroad in the same city. When I left my friend was so excited for me and made me promise to meet her boyfriend and the only rule she told me was not to mess around with him. It seemed like a strange request but I thought it would be easy enough. I went abroad and hated it, it was hard for me to adjust so when my friend came to visit her boyfriend and see me I was so exicted. When I met her boyfriend he was so sweet and kind and really became a good friend. The first time we hung out after my friend left he was really affectionate, kissing my neck and cheeks, holding my hand, and snuggling. I figured it was because of the culture and i just reciprocated what he was doing. Things remained the same for a long time, lots of hand holds, hugs, and light kisses in seemingly innocent places. When I was going to leave the country my other friends threw me a party and I went with the boyfriend. Everything was fun and we had a great couple of hours drinking and dancing. Then we were talking outside and my friend's boyfriend was texting a friend when I don't know how but we started making out. As soon as I realized what was happening and that it was wrong I made him stop and discussed that what we did was wrong. He agreed and to make me feel better I started drinking more. Later as we went to go home with our dd and his girlfriend things got inappropriate again in the car. He and I touched inappropriate place on each other in the car but our friends reminded us that it was a bad idea. So we stopped in the car but once they went to drop me off and we started to say goodbye, we started to kiss and fool around again. Our friends stopped us again and took me back to my house. The boyfriend and I were both feeling horrible but we decided to not tell the friend. We hung out a few times since and I can't help but feel attracted to him. I left the country and before I left the boyfriend told me that maybe we could do what we did again if we saw each other again soon he also kissed me on the lips as we said goodbye. I feel aweful but I really like him and I never get the guy. He isn't a bad guy because if he is a bad guy then I am a bad friend and person too. I just am confused. No judgement, I judge myself enough for it.