I dont want to live.

Im 16 years old. Ever since i was in middle school, ive been feeling really depressed. life has changed for me since, ive gain alot of freinds and lost almost all of them. ive had flings with guys, and messed up every single one of them. ive grown to have so much anger agaisnt my family. my depression is ruining my life, to cope with it i do alot. cut, mainly. Whats the point of living if all you ever feel is sadness? even though theres a million people around me, i feel so alone. ive tried killing myself before, taking pills but nothign happened. sometimes i feel as if one night im just gonna lose it, i dont even know who i am anymore. the only time i ever feel happy is if im high or drunk, which i cant be all the time. I wanna run away, but i always get to scared. i wish i could start a new life, dont you? i wish i could have done so many things differently but the damage is done. i decided to write this just cause i heard 'letting it out' helps but really this isnt doing much. so ill just end this stupid confession here.

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