I'm just going to watch as you pass by my life...
I'm twenty this year, and my past relationships (3) have all been for "convenience." I just say yes because I feel like it was the norm to be in a relationship at 16 or 17. None of them lasted, obviously.
Anyway, I've been attending summer school for mandatory courses before nursing school (I start this fall). From day one, there's this guy that instantly caught my eye... I've never been so attracted to a man before! I have all these new feelings when he's around. My stomach tightens up, and my face warms up. I always notice him, but I never dare stare...even worse, the idea of actually walking up to him and talking to him terrifies me! It's so silly -- I feel like a twelve-year-old schoolgirl.
I often see him looking at our group, and during scheduled lab tests, he somehow always ends up standing behind me! But he never initiates any kind of verbal contact either...
I keep telling myself that this is nothing but some superficial crush. But, I've never honestly felt so attracted or interested in someone.
This part of the summer semester is ending, and he's not taking the next part. I probably will never have a chance to talk to him, and I'm scared that I'll never be so drawn to another person again.
Farewell to what could have been. I will never know!