In my private life I am a wife beater

In my public life I am a respected, well-paid accountant. In my private life I am a wife beater.

Nobody would believe this because I am soft spoken and appear to always be in control of myself, and I am as white collar, distinguished, and professional as a guy could get. But my job is high pressure and I blow off steam by slapping my wife around when she gets on my nerves or doesn't clean the house well enough.

She would never go to the police about this because she likes the big money I make and the fact we have enough money so that she will never have to work. I won't go to counseling about my temper at home because if any of my colleagues found out it could be the death knell of my lucrative career.

And, to be honest, I don't see this as a problem. My father beat my mother and I am just carrying on a family tradition with a subconsciously-consenting woman. Plus, I am the sweetest guy in the world after an episode. The other night I gave my wife a black eye and slapped her around for about 5 minutes. The next day to atone for my blow up I bought her a dozen roses, her favorite expensive perfume, and gave her $1,000 to go on a shopping spree, and I did the gratuitous apologies. She, of course, forgave me and I promised to never hit her again, and we were lovey dovey per usual. So in spite of my occasional lapse in self control with my wife, I'm really a sweetheart and a good husband to her.

24 Comments

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  • Might not be too late for you and both of you to get some counseling

  • Your actions are unjust and abhorrent!!
    What are you doing man!! I'm a woman and proficient in MMA! I'd love to rip your ass open with a strap-on d**** and beat the s*** out of you whilst doing so, just so you can have a taste of your own medicine!! I'd even hire gay escorts to take turns at pummelling your body and ass aswell!

  • I'm not sure how I feel about you punching her and giving her a black eye. I don't have a problem with you disciplining her but loss of control on your part. Thats what I have trouble with. It's weakness.

    My wife. Well she is boringly concervative and can loose focus on the improtant tasks so I took control. I never punch her but I do spank her. I will at times specify what she is to wear and that is usually when I want her in a mini skirt. Or if I want s** in some way or place and she resists. Like I love when we are out say at a friends house to duck into a bed room and have her kneel down and deep throat me for a quicky. Any resistance or arguing on her part means as soon as we get home I lay her on the bed and cane her.

  • Deep throating feels good for the person receiving it, but not for the giver. Gagging on a c*** and retching when it goes too deep, isn't fun!! But you wouldn't care, aslong as your c*** gets wet and you o*****!! Typical f*****!

  • We have to do it before dinner otherwise she gags. Occasionally we do it at home and it's a mess with vomit coming out her nose and worry she will breath it into her lungs. Very dangerous.

  • Sure you do, you troll!!

  • Ummm... why not get a punching bag?

  • F*** you!

  • An accountant, who makes lots of money (right), beating up on his wife. Let's just breathe in and exhale folks. You and I both know this is heavy-duty bullshit. Ever stopped to wonder why this 'confession' was posted in the first place?
    Think about it.

  • You're Patrick Bergen. Your wife is Julia Roberts. Things don't end well for Patrick. Nor will they for you. That set of rails you have your little-bitty choo-choo chugging down is a LOT shorter than you think it is, partner.

  • Some b****** just don't listen

    What did the five fingers say to the face?
    SLAP!

  • Finally, a guy who's not p**** whipped! It's refreshing to see a real man who doesn't let his woman push him around. A rare thing is this era of emasculated men.

  • If my partner laid a hand on me violently,
    he'd be a dead man and he knows this!!!
    Lucky for me, I have a wonderful man in my life, who wouldn't dream of hurting me at all!!

  • YOU ARE A PIECE OF S*** AND IF I WAS HER I'D BEAT THE F*** OUT OF YOU MYSELF! I WAS BEAT FOR 9 YEARS BY MY STEP DAD, AND SINCE HE'S STOPPED IVE BEAT THE H*** OUT OF AT LEAST A DOZEN GUYS FOR TRYING TO PUT THEIR HANDS ON ME OR ANOTHER WOMAN!!!! HONESTLY YOU DESERVE TO BE HIT BY A F****** TRAIN/BUS!!!!! MEN LIKE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT COWARDS!!!!!

  • I think this story is made up...if not...and if she dies from the constant beatings, and that can happen if you continue, she will be in a far better place than you could ever afford to give her. The only reason she won't tell is probably not because of the money but probably because she fears for her life. If you end up in jail hopefully a stern beating in your ass will do you good. :)

  • Your are a really f****** sick man... F*** you mother/sister and even brother/father FUCKERRRRRRRRR !!!

    GO TO HELLLLLLL

  • I know violence just begets violence, but I would love punch the f*** out the person who wrote this. I wouldn't kill you, but I'd leave you paralysed for life. See how you work then.

  • Great lesson to pass to your kids. Really, stellar. You planning to show your boy the family heritage? Maybe tell your daughter that material things are worth some bruises.

    Maybe on their wedding night you can hold a demonstration and smack your wife around in front of your family.

  • I don't see what the problem is. She respects you all the more for being a real man. Tina Turner might have sung "What's Love Got To Do With It?" but behind closed doors, it was, "Harder, Ike, and put some stank on it!!"

  • This is THE BEST reply ever posted on this sie! Or anywhere else, for that matter. Love it!!!

  • Doesn't matter how many roses you buy her, how expense the perfume is, you are harming another human being, and it's your wife at that.

    This is something you need help for. It's the job of psychologists to keep secrets. You would greatly benefit from seeing one.

    The fact however that you posted this here does mean something. You know it's a problem. Next step is to get help for it. It is never too late to change. Go now. You never know when you could strike her a bit too forcefully and then what? Then what?

  • haha...that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! Why don't you just blow her f****** head off! What a riot! Knock her teeth out! You could even give lessons, you big teddy bear!

  • you are a good for nothing, you dont desrve this life? what if your wife starts beating u? will u bear with it? whats the big deal? in marriage husband and wife are equal. u r not some hitler or saddam husaain or gaddafi. even if u r, remember all of them lost their power, a time will come

  • He was using satire...you stupid f****** dumbass!

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