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In my private life I am a wife beater
In my public life I am a respected, well-paid accountant. In my private life I am a wife beater.
Nobody would believe this because I am soft spoken and appear to always be in control of myself, and I am as white collar, distinguished, and professional as a guy could get. But my job is high pressure and I blow off steam by slapping my wife around when she gets on my nerves or doesn't clean the house well enough.
She would never go to the police about this because she likes the big money I make and the fact we have enough money so that she will never have to work. I won't go to counseling about my temper at home because if any of my colleagues found out it could be the death knell of my lucrative career.
And, to be honest, I don't see this as a problem. My father beat my mother and I am just carrying on a family tradition with a subconsciously-consenting woman. Plus, I am the sweetest guy in the world after an episode. The other night I gave my wife a black eye and slapped her around for about 5 minutes. The next day to atone for my blow up I bought her a dozen roses, her favorite expensive perfume, and gave her $1,000 to go on a shopping spree, and I did the gratuitous apologies. She, of course, forgave me and I promised to never hit her again, and we were lovey dovey per usual. So in spite of my occasional lapse in self control with my wife, I'm really a sweetheart and a good husband to her.
I know violence just begets violence, but I would love punch the ** out the person who wrote this. I wouldn't kill you, but I'd leave you paralysed for life. See how you work then.
Great lesson to pass to your kids. Really, stellar. You planning to show your boy the family heritage? Maybe tell your daughter that material things are worth some bruises.
Maybe on their wedding night you can hold a demonstration and smack your wife around in front of your family.
I don't see what the problem is. She respects you all the more for being a real man. Tina Turner might have sung "What's Love Got To Do With It?" but behind closed doors, it was, "Harder, Ike, and put some stank on it!!"
This is THE BEST reply ever posted on this sie! Or anywhere else, for that matter. Love it!!!
Doesn't matter how many roses you buy her, how expense the perfume is, you are harming another human being, and it's your wife at that.
This is something you need help for. It's the job of psychologists to keep secrets. You would greatly benefit from seeing one.
The fact however that you posted this here does mean something. You know it's a problem. Next step is to get help for it. It is never too late to change. Go now. You never know when you could strike her a bit too forcefully and then what? Then what?
haha...that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! Why don't you just blow her ** head off! What a riot! Knock her teeth out! You could even give lessons, you big teddy bear!
you are a good for nothing, you dont desrve this life? what if your wife starts beating u? will u bear with it? whats the big deal? in marriage husband and wife are equal. u r not some hitler or saddam husaain or gaddafi. even if u r, remember all of them lost their power, a time will come
He was using satire...you stupid ** dumbass!