My dead cat

My cat that I've had for seventeen years died yesterday. I feel insanely guilty because I'm honestly glad that she did. It's not that I didn't love her... I've had her since I was nine, I took her with me when I moved out of my parents house, I took care of her and hung out with her all these years. She meant a lot to me. The past few years though, she's been sick with old age. I was tired of paying vet bills and cleaning up her accidents all over the house (she would crap everywhere). Basically I was just waiting for her to die. I feel so terribly because I feel like I should care more about her. I feel like a terrible heartless person. My good friend and boyfriend were more upset about her passing than I was. She actually cried. I pretended as much as possible to be upset, but inside I was happy. I hated seeing her suffer. Now I'm worried that I didn't love her enough, or that she didn't know how much I loved her. What if she picked up on my thoughts on her the past few years of just hoping she would give up all ready. it may sound extremely stupid that I'm saying this stuff but it's seriously eating away at me. Just had to get it all off my chest. I know if I told anyone I actually knew the truth that they would think I was an awful person.

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  • Your cat knew that you loved her what your feeling is totally normal you said yourself " I hated seeing her suffer " any person who didn't love they're animal would selfishly try to keep them here for they're own selfish reasons , take care sorry for your loss

  • You're a SANE person who took care of that cat for a long time and worked hard at it. Let it go and enjoy your freedom for awhile. You're a good person for having done as much as you did!

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