I want to be used...

I am 18 and havent been in a real relationship ever. bf #1 was a phone and texting relationship, long distance, and we had met once thru my cousins. bf#2 made out with me at lunch in the hallways of my school, asked out other girls, and took me out behind the school to finger me. bf #3 wasnt even my bf he just took me out to the park after knowing me for 2 weeks and took my virginity before school. bf #4 told me he loved me via text for 2 months, another long distance relationship, and had s** with me the first day he met me in person, never spoke to me again. i have no self confidence and part of me, no all of me, loves having s**, but i get attached emotionally and cant move on from one guy until i start frlirting with another. why do i need a guy in my life to make me happy??? i fear i will never find the perfect man who loves me for who I am, somebody to hold my hand as we walk thru town not just as he is leading me to his bed.

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  • Guys don't make you happy, it just masks the fact that you aren't happy with yourself. Relationships aren't supposed to fill a hole or need that you are lacking, but instead relationships are to compliment who you are on the inside. So if you loath yourself, a relationship will end up just intensifying it. If you love yourself, a relationship will end up intensifying that as well.

    I can't believe this is coming from me, I am the poster child for promiscuous relationships.

  • stop being such a w****....

  • It sounds like you enjoy the s** because you like feeling wanted and valued. This is a classic case of low self-esteem - you shouldn't need a man to make you feel good, that comes from within yourself. Why not swear off guys for a bit until you face your own insecurities? The right guy found me when I'd given up on looking. You're 18! You're young! Just do these things:
    Make a list of the things you like about yourself. Look at it every time you look in the mirror.
    Each morning, before you get dressed, imagine yourself stepping into a suit of armour, a confident shell that will protect you. Soon enough you won't need to imagine the confidence, because it'll just be there :)
    Focus on having fun with your friends, go out and have good times that you can treasure. Replace all your bad memories with good ones.
    Remember, nobody is 100% happy with themselves, everyone has bits they hate! Just try to accept how you are and learn to love yourself, before you start looking for a man to love you instead. Don't have s** with guys to make them like you or stay with you, get to know them - be friends first. Just work on you, and let the guys come as they may :)

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