Should I Stay or Should I Go?

So this is a long and complicated story.

About a year or two ago, I was dating my current boyfriend when he told me he was transgender (FTM). I didn't mind that because I loved him because he was kind, considerate and made me feel valid when others didn't. Unfortunately because my parents are homophobic, I asked him not to post anything that can give away our relationship on Facebook so no one can tell my parents. Thankfully, they have no idea.

However, he confessed to me about a few months ago that he is polyamorous and he's in love with someone else. All three of us (my boyfriend, the other person he loves and myself) talked through our issues and insecurities and I promised I'd try to give the new relationship dynamic a chance. But the more pictures and posts he posted about how much he loves this other person I saw, the more paranoid I got. It didn't help that I suffer from anxiety so I was feeling that along with lots of insecurities.

I'm thinking about breaking up with him because I can no longer stand the thought of being second best. I feel like he has eyes for someone else and I feel like I'm not good enough for the one person who made me feel good about myself. I know he'll be upset but I'm bracing myself for the day when he would break up with me first. Even if he says how much he loves me, I don't think it will be enough to convince me to stay.

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  • The only thing complicated about your story is your boyfriend. Look, he can be polyamorous..but if you're not, you're not. It's time for you to move on. The other thing that can break up relationship is keeping it a secret. When you're in love, you want everyone to know. That's sad that you can't bring him around your parents. You have to love yourself more to go after what you want and what you deserve and need. You wanted a relationship with him, not this other person. That's okay. He should understand that. Time to move on. It won't be easy. Break ups are painful, but you will get through this.

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