We found love in a hopeless place
You had been my ray of hope. When I had lost the power of love, when I was stripped and devoid of feelings, you gave them all back to me. You made me believe in love again, when all I had was a lingering feeling of emptiness. We shared many things over these past 4 and a half years. It's difficult to let such a relationship go to waste but here it is. It's real. It's disrupted.
Strands of memories fading into nothingness, our happiness gone. I remember the days I rushed back from work to check if you were online, to talk to you and see your pretty face. Our flirtatious moments, slowly building the links to our hearts over the thousands of kilometres of land and sea separating us. We connected so easily, you in the land of Thor, my gorgeous Valkyrie and me in the land of the Dodo, just a regular guy.
I never thought I'd go to such extent for someone I only met online, and that too we met very randomly in a very particular situation my dearest til92. Leaving everything behind, I decided to set foot into unknown territory for me. The British soil bade well at that time and presented an opportunity to finally meet you. Am I glad I met you. Best thing in my whacked up life. We had so much fun travelling and visiting places, having fun drinking too much Cherry Coke and throwing up because you thought it would be a waste to leave it behind, or staying at cheap hotels with annoying managers. There is also this special hotel which was way too hot to stay inside but we both lost something there.
I could go on about all our memories, like delicious Pizza da Milano at Pemberton's Gardens and me having to go back to the hotel to look for your “lost” camera that was actually in your bag. We had so much fun in Green Street, and getting your credit card eaten by the horrible ATM machine. I just feel like writing every detail of our encounters so that I don't lose them. The henna tattoo art I made on your arm, the 1 hour kiss! Oh the 1 hour kiss, so special. Everything that I did with you was so special. I don't think I'll ever have so much fun with someone else. We were special.
It was worth it to have you visiting all the time. Thorpe park was my first theme park with anyone. You knew how to have fun. Even in Norway when I visited you, we had so much fun. Plan B! We need a plan B! And how about Mauritius? Yes, the beach, the naughty things we did at the beach, the funny things we did. Who will save me from the rocks now! Who will pick me up in the water and take me to safety? You have so much life in you, so much humour and you laugh at little things. It was so easy to be happy with you.
I wish I never left England, the hopeless place where I found love. The distance made things go wrong, and the trust issues which were tearing me apart slowly inside, with repercussions on our relationship. Somehow, someday I will need to forgive you eventually but right now I really needed your help. I needed you by my side even if it caused me to behave badly. I couldn't do it without you. I know you're young and you didn't want to be burdened by all the trouble. I just wish your love was stronger than that. I never ask for help to anyone, and I avoid it as much as I can. I can't express myself to anyone in my surroundings and this makes me helpless in this situation. I know it's not what you want to hear.
I wish you didn't abandon me, I wish you had more courage to face me during these times. Only you had the power to fix what you destroyed. Too bad the memories stop here, all the good times, the fun times, the laughter we shared, the tears we shed. You would have been my wife, but I hope it happens in another lifetime, if such a thing exists. I will miss you Siri Emma A. K. I will always love you.