Sad About Engagement Ring

I am having a great amount of inner turmoil about this issue so I wanted to hear some opinions from someone other than my husband.
Me and my husband have been together for almost 8 years. We met in high school, fell in love and got engaged before going off to College. At the time I did not want a big ring so we ended up getting matching bands with a couple .05pt diamonds in the band. When it came to getting another ring for the wedding ceremony I wanted a ring with a bigger rock seeing as my engagement ring was not very flashy. Normally I never want to be flashy but I had never had a really nice piece of jewellery until the engagement band came along. Then when it came time to pick out my ring that was supposed to be for the ceremony (but looked like an engagement ring) we did not have any money because we were both in college. We ended up getting a .3 carat ring. I would have been fine with the ring if it were good quality, but we got ripped off. I asked for white gold, I got yellow (rhodium plated) the claws were not set well and scratched everything. Overall the ring was a disaster and it really really made me upset that I could not wear my wedding ring without scratching everything and everyone around me. About a week after the wedding I retired the ring with much sorrow and hoped that soon we would be able to afford a new one that was of better quality.

10 months after the wedding me and my husband had worked very hard and paid off all of our student debt and were now saving for a house. He had never even once mentioned wanting to get me a new ring and I had been thinking about my sad little ring for 10 months. Finally I got super upset and freaked out that he had showed not interest in getting me a ring to represent our 7 year relationship. So we ended up working with a custom jewellery designer to get me my dream ring.

Finally after waiting almost a year after my wedding I had my ring, but it still is not how I wanted it to be. Fundamentally I consider myself a very reasonable person. I love my husband more than anything and I know he loves me too, which is probably why I am still so upset that he could not see that I did not love the ring. I wanted the diamond just a bit bigger and I am also really upset that the ring is too big (which is an easy fix). I just wanted it to be prefect after the horrible ordeal we had with the first ring.

I currently have a .5 carat stone and I wanted it to be a bit bigger (about.65). I got upset and told him that I was not completely honest about the ring and that I was not totally happy with it and he was kind of hurt. He said that I was not being crazy and that I should have the ring I want because over the course of our relationship he as gotten many, expensive things and I have not.

I have a feeling that to upgrade the ring will be an additional $500 - $600 and I feel super guilty. Am I crazy overanalyzing this or am I right to be upset?

Sep 19, 2012

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  • Next time go with your husband to pick out the next ring okay, problem solve,

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